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Harris
Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2849
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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Me and my partners relationship has broken down, we jointly

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hi, me and my partners relationship has broken down, we jointly have a home which is still mortgaged, we have two young children, 9 and 8. I work pt and he has two jobs and earns 3 times more than me, purly due to the fact that I'm at home with the kids which allows him to do the hours he does. he refuses to move out of the home, which is hard, as he has his dads house he could stay at but wont go, I don't want to uproute the kids, its going to be tough enough for them already but he doesn't and wont see that, its in his eyes... he buys me out or we sell.... me buying him out is not an option, how selfish hey..... well thats my question, is there anything I can do, legally? the house was bouoght for 85k, its worth about 95k now and the mortgage is about 40k, so about 27.5k each, id really really prefer not to sell, I want to stay here with the kids, I'm not even sure how I would pay him out, or if id get a mortgage on my own wage either.... its just all a mess really. I live in Doncaster south Yorkshire uk.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Hi, thanks for your question. Are you married?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry. No not married
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Thank you - what is the plan for arrangements for the children? Have you discussed this? Also, what is his gross income?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The kids will stay with me and mb stay with him one night a week, he works long hours, it's not very amicable at the mo so not really spoken technicalities, I'm going to my mums on an evening when the kids are asleep (so they not aware) and having to come back every morning at 5am so he can go to work, I'm being more than reasonable and putting the kids needs first.... Just wish he would.... He earns around 38-40k a year...
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Thanks. From a child maintenance perspective - if you are the main carer and the children stay with him on average one-two night a week, he is legally liable to provide you with child maintenance of £100-106 per week depending on whether his income is £38k, or 40k. Furthermore, if you are unable to afford to move out of the current home, you are entitled to seek for an order under Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 in order to use the property to house the children. Such an order will prevent the sale of the property until a trigger event is reached (such as your youngest finishing education) and thereafter the property to be sold and proceeds to be divided in accordance with any agreement or how the title is held. Therefore, you do not necessarily need to consider buying him out at this stage. Unfortunately, you will not be able to force him out of the home as he has a legal interest as it is in joint names. The only way to exclude him from the property is by a court order if there has been domestic violence. Initially, I would suggest that you consider making a referral to an independent mediator who can assist you both in reaching an amicable decision that is in the children's best interests. You can find local mediators here: http://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/Please provide a positive rating if you found this information helpful. I will not be credited with answering this question without a positive rating. Thank you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank u how do I seek this order ? Under section 1 of the children's act...? Is it a long process ? Time ?
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
It can be a fairly long process to pursue the order and he could oppose the matter, leading to it be acrimonious. The costs of it will also be high if you are legally represented, which is advisable as it can be complicated. You can seek the order using application form - http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/a001-eng.pdf to your local family court, together with a £215 court fee to your local family court. However, you will need to attend a mediation information session prior to pursuing the application to see if mediation is a suitable way to attempt to settle the issue.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He's not the type to accept mediation he's a bully if I'm honest.... I can't force him to attend can i? Just feel I'm fighting a loosing battle
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Would I get legal
Aid ? Is that still available ?
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
No, mediation is voluntary and you cannot force him to attend. Legal aid is only available for such matters if there is evidenced domestic violence.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Not a great hope for me then
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
I would still suggest that you attempt to try to settle matters through mediation. Either way, he cannot force you or the children out of the property either - and he cannot force a sale of the property without going to court. If he did go to court, the court is unlikely to force a sale if the property is suitable for you and the children to remain there, and if he is able to live elsewhere independently.Please provide a positive rating if you found this information helpful. I will not be credited with answering this question without a positive rating. Thank you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If he won't go to mediation why do u suggest ?! He had said he won't allowe me to buy him out
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
If you wish to pursue an application under Form A1 to prevent a sale until the children reach a certain age, you need to demonstrate that you have attended a mediation information and assessment meeting before pursuing the application. The mediator will assess whether mediation is suitable and they will be able to speak to him about it to obtain your views. If he refuses the mediator's request then the mediator will sign a form for you to enclose to the court application stating that you have attempted to offer mediation. You cannot pursue the application without attending the initial session unless there is urgency or documented domestic violence.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The preventing the sale act....? Does that still allow him to live in the property tho? My main argument is I need him hi leave.....I can pay him out my dad had offered to help but he refuses.... Is there no law or nothing to say that rather than sell it.... I buy him out???
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
If you are able to buy him out, then this would be an option as part of the Form A1 and apply for a transfer of the property for the benefit of the children
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yeah but the issue is.... He will not go to mediation and they won't accept the form without attending mediation - I'm getting confused
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Sorry for the confusion. Initially only you need to attend the mediation information session which provides you with advice about what mediation is and discuss whether it is suitable. If the mediator thinks it could be suitable, they will contact him to obtain his views about mediation taking place. If he refuses to attend, then the mediator will sign you off and this allows you to continue with the court application. Therefore, he does not need to attend mediation - only you need to attend the mediation information session.
Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2849
Experience: Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
Harris and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Oh right - thank u. I'll try and find a place locally to attend / thanks
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
No worries, hope it goes well. You can ask for me directly if there are issues in the future you need assistance with - just start your question For Harris In the meantime please provide a positive rating if you found this information helpful. I will not be credited with answering this question without a positive rating. Thank you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok I will do thank u..., you'd think given the circumstance tho... The money he earns... The job he has v my pt, plus the fact the kids need stability, you'd think he'd willingly do the right thing.... Sadly things aren't that simple....
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Just to add to my colleagues suggestions.The Chidlren Act applictaion if successful will mean that you will have the right to live there - without your ex.