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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33953
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Clare Recently I asked you about my right to inspect the

Customer Question

Hi Clare
Recently I asked you about my right to inspect the matrimonial home, to report back to the lender and to look through my leftover belongings to select some to remove. You told me I didn't need to give notice but I did anyway out of politeness. In true aggressive spirit, my ex hassled me so much whilst I was in the house that I had to beat a retreat without one look at my belongings.
I cannot access my possessions.
Since Sep, and 4 times since, I asked him to list our possessions in broad terms at his house and his parents (1 hour drive apart).
He never provided a list and threatens to throw my stuff on the street, in front of my child. I logged a non crime domestic which has a log number.
Without a list, I can't imagine how we can ascertain which items "are mine" - I don't want a lump of boxes he's decided are 'mine' - as adults I thought we should agree which wedding present (unopened since the wedding) and which items of furniture and garden effects should be with whom - a relatively simple exercise.
He always ignores that and threatens to destroy my stuff if I don't collect the pile he has made for me.
Can you shed light on what he should be doing in reality and I can pass any golden nuggets on.
I will also contact my police constable for her to pop round and try to talk sense into his head.
I can't afford £500-£1000 move costs, especially not from two locations and especially not for an incomplete pile of goods that I do not even consider mine.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiDoes he work?Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He's worked continuously for 20 years since graduation.
I had to move out the matrimonial home and so some of my stuff remains in the home with him, some at his parents. Obviously his stuff too is distributed between his parents and our house.
I did one relocation last October cost me £500. I put the items I was taking on display a number of days for him to peruse before I moved them. I'm not getting any respect in return, regarding agreeing items next for removal. (I think he wants to keep all the furniture for himself!)
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Is there any reason why you cannot go to the house and complete a list whilst he is at work
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well, the issue is distance because I live 270 miles away. And, he alludes to their being a lodger in the house now too.
I can't remember all the items to make my own list, otherwise I would have forwarded one months ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
The only sensible way to approach this is to enter the property - as you are fully entitled to do - whilst he is out and prepare the list yourself.You should video the property as well to show that the items are there and the condition that they are in.You can then send your ex a copy of the list and ask him to list the items he wants in order (1 2 3) etc.You do the same.If you both want the same item then the issue is decided on the basis of who has listed it higher in the order.Please ask if you need further detailsClare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok -
To deal with the 'grandparents' garage' issue, I'm thinking of organising a cab to collect from gramps and deliver to matrimonial home (should only be £100) - ex would agree right away because it will empty parents garage and he doesn't want hassle from them any more. I can book a cab on the basis that when my items arrive matrimonial home they are then listed by ex - or (taking your idea) by me in July when I fly into the region with my child.I really want ex to list the items because I am only ever there with child and my ex is unable to control his behaviour in front of child. So I really don't want to enter property when child is in the vicinity and ex never takes the child off-site - he actually enjoys taunting me with child around. The police said they'd attend (next time I visit) but that was to prevent breach of peace - but they can't guarantee being there due to various commitments. In any event, police in presence of child not good.I will taxi my garage goods to matrimonial home (5 bedrooms there - plenty of storage space) and will keep asking my ex to list our possessions - if he keeps failing to do so and puts my stuff on the street, then the police have always said they will investigate property crime.I will offer to list in July but on condition child is taken offsite to the beach or something and that police constable is onsite with me as witness.If Chronologies and Questionnaires are exchanged before July I was going to ask for list of possessions in Questionnaire.Is there any other good ideas at your end, as you've been so helpful?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Your ex is not going to list items and cannot be forced to do so.You need to plan a visit without the child if you wish to resolve the issue
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
A visit without the child isn't going to happen unfortunately, because of distance and cost, I only attend to drop the child off.
I can list key items in Form E and ask the judge to help, would you know of any other strategy to "get your stuff?"
I can't afford multiple collections.
Its a difficult area because none of it is "criminal" unless destroyed.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
The Court rarely wishes to be involved in the division of the furniture and will simply expect you to agree it.I am afraid you will simply have to rely on asking for the items you want most.
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33953
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We must be just about the only couple whose wedding gifts never were opened.
Thankyou so much for your help moving this along!!!!
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
You are most welcome I hope all goes well
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Related to the point, what do you think of the fact H (husband) is not giving me details upon who now joined him to live in matrimonial home. Its the same problem as with possessions - he refuses to give details. I've been very clear and said because child stays overnight with him (for a week in school holidays) - its important to know who lives there and H's risk reduction strategy with strangers. I am ignored.We both jointly have the mortgage to the home, but he's forgotten that.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiUnless you have reason to think that your ex will have taken on someone unsuitable then I am afraid that there is little that you can do about this - unless you are willing to go down ther and meet themClare

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