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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34276
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have seperated from my partner and my son whats to stay

Resolved Question:

hi i have seperated from my partner and my son whats to stay with me but she is telling me that she is going to get someone to come and take him from me can she do this
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further details firstHow old is your son and are you name don the birth certificateClare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
5 yes
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i have 3 children with her 2 girls and my son my son is asking me to let him live with me and i am so worried that i will lose him
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Are you aware that there is an extra charge for the phone call?ho wold are the children?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
they are 5 3 and 1
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
yes i am aware that there is an extra charge for the phone call but i need to no where i stand as soon as possible
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi clare how is it looking for me can she come and take him sorry if i am being a pain just need to know where i stand on this thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Have you discussed how to share the care of ALL the chidlren between you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she said she is going to keep the kids and only let me see them when she say it ok
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Where has she taken the other children?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she as taken them to the family home but told me i am not a load to go there
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
So she is in the family home - where are you living?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i am at my mums she as 3 bedroom house
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
my son will have is owne room and i will be shareing with my brother
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Are the two houses close together and do you not wish to spend time with the other chidlren as well?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
they are about a mile apart and yes i do wont to spend time with the girl
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
but that will have to be sorted out in time
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i need to no if i can keep my son with me or can she take him away from me i will be going to court to sort out seeing the girls just dont wont to lose all my kids its hard as it is trying to tell my son that he can go home if he wonts to but he is telling me that he wonts to live with me but i did tell his mum that i would have one child every nite after school then take them to school the next day and she could have them all at the weekend but she said she would let me have them when she says its ok
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
so clare how is it looking for me
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry but at five your son is too young to make the decision about what time he should spend with either parent.However your ex is wrong - she does not have the power to decide how any of the children share their time between you.You BOTH have parental Responsibility and the right to have the children in your care and accordingly you both have to agree on the pattern of the shared care - and if you cannot do so then the court will impose a pattern upon youThe starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediationwww.familymediationcouncil.org.ukThere is no reason why your son should not spend more time with you than with his mother BUT given his age and the fact that there are younger children he will also be expected to spend part of every week with his mother - just as the younger children should spend part of each week with you.It is never right to turn a child into a tug of war rope and I suggest that you point this out to your ex.The only potential risk is that your ex will make an applictaion to the court for an urgent order stating that your son should be returned to her care - but you will have notice of this and provided you go with a clear suggestion for shared care I believe you could be successfulPlease ask if you need further details and we can discuss it by telephone if you still wish to do so.Clare
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok thank you for your help
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
You are welcomeRemember you have just as much right to care of the chidlren as your ex does - BUT the court will expect any arrangements to be child focussed and to keep the children together for the majority of the time (not necessarily ALL of it)