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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Im needing advice about my child and her dad... my childs

Resolved Question:

Hi im needing advice about my child and her dad... my childs 2year old and goes to her dads once a week.. these times and dates are friday 5.30pm til saturday 10.30am following week Saturday 4.30pm til sunday 11.30.. i never deal with her dad we have to go by his mam i have no contact details at all for my childs dad. Its getting to the point my childs crying and hiding behind our legs when she has to go up her dads/nanas.. its her nana what pick and drops her off but when we open the door she hides and doesnt wana go to her so we have to pick her up and pass her over and i feel awful for it but i dont want them thinking im stopping contact. When shes at her dads shes coming back with teeth marks and scratches on her off his dog her clothes are stained or holes in so am having to bin them also which im sick of now! He does give me csa but i dont see why i should always have to buy new everytime she comes back from her dads. I offered more days when we 1st spilt to be told no im not wasting the petrol. I offered more time at xmas cs hes off for 2weeks n he still didn't want her any more time. Im sick of trying and dont no what else to do.. the recent stunt is my child had hand foot and mouth what so caught from nursery so i thought i would inform her nana just so she can tell her dad.. to be messed about with on friday saying they dont want her there then to be told they would still have her on the Saturday. . Woke up saturday thinking she was going to her dads.. and i receive a text message at work saying they not having her on that same day... short notice i work 12hrs and i had to phone around to see if any of my family can watch her while i work so when shes bad they dont even want her.. ive had enough and dont no what else a can do and how much more i can take of this.. my childs just been messed about.. please help
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information firstWould alternate weekends work better for you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I work every other weekend so when i work weekends he has her Saturday night till sunday morning then my mam has to look after. He wont have her any earlier or any later i asked before if he will have her earlier but the answer was no i have to go by his mam which means i have to wait for her finishing work. Even though hes off work weekends he wont come collect her.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Would you like to have her the weekend that you are off?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
When its my weekend off i have her.. because i have her all day friday till half 5.. then shes up her dads n shes back by saturday 10.30.. its mainly weekends when i work it would help my mam out as well because she works 3/4 days a week which is 12hr shifts so when i work she has my child so it would be better if she goes up her dads when i work weekends jut to give my mam a little break from working then having my child when i work. But when my child poorly they wont have her and use excuses.. a dont want to be 1 of these parents who stop children seeing there dads but am trying so much and it gets chucked back in my face from them.. am just worried about why my childs crying and hiding behind our legs when shes getting collected at the door by her nana. And am not happy about the dos biting her and leaving marks on her
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I think you are being very sensible and are putting your daughter first.However what I was asking is if you would like to have a weekend when she does not go to her dad at all - give a break on alternate weekends?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
A would love that.. but his mam wouldnt allow that cause its her who wants to see her everyweek.. shes been messaging me today arguing about this.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
It is not up to her - and generally the court does think it is fair that EACH parent gets a weekend with the child - would you agree to him having her two nights on alternate weekends if the other issues were resolved?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I would love for him to spend that time with her but i tried this before and he didnt like it and stoped it cause he wanted to go out instead and said its unfair hes got her for a full weekend. I cant win with them
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
When did the dog bite her?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She comes back nearly every week saying its biting her and she'll point to feet and legs and you can see little marks then she'll say daddy smacked it
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
What breed of dog?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Adont no the breed but heres a picture of it.. as you can imagine im not impressed by the size of it .. compared to my 2year old
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Ok.There are two issues hereYour concerns about your daughter's care when she is with her father - and what the arrangements should actually be.The time your daughter spends with her father is actually very limited given that most of it is spent asleep and if he actually wishes to spend time with his daughter then having her from 11am on a Saturday until 3pm on a Sunday on alternate weeks would be a more sensible option from the point of view of your daughter and would give you the chance to go away for the weekend if you wish.More to the point it will ensure that your daughter goes at the start of a day when she is more likely not to be tired and wanting you and her own bedThe starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family Mediation - www.familymediationcouncil.org.ukYou can also discuss your concerns about the dog If mediation is not successful then I suggest that you say that in future the news arrangements will be in place - and that if he is not happy then he can make an applictaion to the court for a Child Arrangement OrderI hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further detailsClare
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