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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34264
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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HiConsent Order will soon be lodged with the Court .

Resolved Question:

HiConsent Order will soon be lodged with the Court . Decree Nisi has been granted and Decree absolute should be available in the next 3 weeks. D81 have been exchanged.There is a Child of about 15 months and lives with mother.Father has been ALLOWED by mother to see and have the child for a few hours at a time twice a week.Father has tried for the son to be allowed to stay overnight but this request has been refused by mother on the grounds that the child is too young.Father wants joint custody/residency but the mother is avoiding talks.Father wants to proceed as fast as possible through the Court to achieve joint custody. The child is growing all the time and it will become difficult to adjust should the time lag is too long.Father is also aware that the courts do not always as a rule allow joint custody.What is the speediest way to move forward by the father in this situation. Mediation seems impossible. Formal mediation will be used by the mother as an delaying tactic.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Would request Clare to deal with this question
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your question and for asking for me.What is the actual current pattern of contact - and how close do you live to your ex?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Father picks up son from the mothers house at about 11.00 am and drops him back at about 6.00 pm - every Wednesday and Sunday.The distance between the two houses is less than 2 miles and less than 5 minutes by car .
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Does the father work?How long have the parties been separated?Has the child ever spent a night away from the mother?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The father is a Director in a Family Company. He is willing to spend time off the business as required for his son and also his parents (son's grandparents) have volunteered to assist.Date of Birth of son - 29 December 2014Date of separation - end august 2015Date of Decree Nisi - 25 January 2016There is no way of finding out if the son has spent a night away from mother. It has to be assumed that he has not.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Date of marriage - 1st June 2012
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Given that Dad sees the child twice a week is he not aware of what happens the rest of the week?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That is correct. The mother is not forthcoming with information. We know that she works and may have a Nany employed part time and also sons maternal grand parents may also be assisting.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I have to be blunt and say that there are a number of points which need to be made about the way that the quetsion is phrasedThe first is that the father is in fact having very good contact with the child and that it is only six months since the separation AND the child is still very young. Nor is there any risk that delay will cause more problems - the child will adapt at any age given the close relationship he already has with the fatherIt is important that he keeps this in mind when dealing with his approach to the request to have overnight contact.The second is that there is no longer any concept of Custody - joint or otherwise - in UK family law and has not been since 1989. It was replaced by "Residence and Contact" and these in turn were replaced last year by the term "child arrangement order"Both parents have Parental responsibility for the child - the only issue is how the child's time is shared between them.However you also need to be aware that the research evidence shows that 50/50 shared care for under fives is not conducive to their emotional stability BUT that does NOT mean that there should be no overnight contact - however all suggestions should be child focussedThe third is that mediation has to be attempted prior to any court action - not least because an agreed outcome will always work better than one imposed by the court.So the first way forward is for the father to arrange to use a local family mediator to try and discuss moving onto overnight contact at least once a week 0always start small)If that fails then he can apply to the court using a form C100 seeking a Child arrangement order that includes one night a week - building up to alternate weekends Friday to Monday plus one other night in the week by the time the child is at schoolPlease ask if you need further detailsClare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Limited contact has also lead to no participation by father in bringing up the child in family values and also educational requirements. In the early formative years, inputs by father are important. Would your answer change to take into these considerations. ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
The father already has the child 7 hours a day twice a weekWhilst I agree that there should be overnight ocntact compared to the four hours a fortnight some non resident parents get there is no way it can be called limited even now.Alternate weekends Friday to Monday and one night a week would give the father five nights out of 14 - and the step up from there to 50/50 as the child grows older will be relatively small if the child wishes to spend more time with dad
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for the reply. I will rate the answer in a few moments. In the meantime, is there a way to download the conversations we had on the chat above in a continuous fomat ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
As far as I am aware you can simply print it off!You may also be interested in this web sitehttp://theparentconnection.org.uk/
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