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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2722
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I wish to change when I see my children but their mother

Resolved Question:

Hello, I wish to change when I see my children but their mother (with whom they live) does not agree. We have nothing legally in place around the current arrangements and are not divorced yet. Can I collect my children for the weekend if I arrange it with my child first, without the need for permission from their mother? My son is almost 16 and my daughter almost 13. Thanks.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Hi, thank yoi for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:-What are the current arrangements for you to see the children?-When does your eldest turn 16?-Why does the mother not agree to your proposals?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Harris, thank you for your reply. To answer:-Currently I see all my children every other weekend (we have 3; our 18 year-old son lives with me). This means that while I have all the children, their mother sees her boyfriend and does what she wants. On the weekends that she has the other 2 kids, I have my 18-year-old. He has never stayed with his mother and doesn't want to.-Our eldest is 18 as I have just mentioned above. Our other son (the subject of this case) turns 16 on June 23rd.-She says she doesn't agree because she doesn't think the kids should be split up on weekends. But they already are as she hardly ever sees our 18-year-old. They also have very little in common and do separate things now, plus my son has had issues with bullying his sister in the recent past. I also think it is for their mother's own convenience because she does not want to lose her weekend 'free' of children and wants to have her own fun. I have never had a weekend without children. Further, she always dominated me in our marriage and I think she wants to carry on trying to do that even though we are separated. This is not acceptable.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the further information. As your middle child is almost sixteen, he can technically see you when he wishes if there is no court order in place. Furthermore, once he turns 16, a family court will not deal with any child arrangements issues regarding him as the majority of orders end when a child is 16. It can be extended to 18, but that is for more exceptional reasons.In relation to your youngest, she is too young to decide who she stays or sees, however, given her age her wishes and feelings will be taken into consideration if the matter went to court.In the circumstances I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the children's best interests. If mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedingsIf you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you
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