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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33297
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Last year I had my granddaughters placed in my care by social

Customer Question

Last year I had my granddaughters placed in my care by social services for 8 months. My son and his partner have had issues, and my sons partner was sectioned under the mental health act. I was asked to keep social services informed of any matters. My sons partner was allowed to take the children out on her own as was my son, but not together. My sons partner was told she was well enough to have her children back but they had both agreed with social services to do course's before the children came back to them full time. Unfortunately she became unwell again and was drinking a lot whilst my son was at work and I had major concerns and told social services what she was doing, I was told by the social worker that under no circumstances was she allowed to have the girls unsupervised I told the S/worker she should tell her this it was not my place The S/worker did this and my sons partner got a solicitor and took the children 2 days later. She went to her cousins with them and we did not see the children again for 3months. In Feb we got a call from her to say she was struggling and needed my sons help she was not getting up with the children and was unwell again we informed social services of this both myself and my son and they said they where there for the children not there mother the school went to her house and the girls answered the door at 12.20 pm there mother was in bed the school told the social worker she was struggling and was acting very strange. Once we found out this was going on my brought the girls to my house and I had them for 10days,soical services where informed of this. I had an Holiday booked and I asked my son and ex if I could take the older girls with me which I did. On the day I got back she had a massive breakdown and the girls had be brought to my house and I got the crises team in to see to her. This was on the 13th of April and girls have been with me since My sons Ex is under going medical treatment. There was a case conference Yesterday we got the letter 2days before the meeting so my son was unable to seek legal advice but the situation is that they are seeking legal advice from there team to remove them from my home As they don't think I am able to protect the children from my son and his ex. On reading the report there are allegations from my sons ex and her family that when I had the children I was letting them see the girls unsupervised and that I am not informing them of any issues that are coming up My sons ex as been diagnosed with Bipolar plus other mental health problems Which way do I turn thank you
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information firstHow old are the children?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
6,4 and 2 years
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
These allegations have come from My sons ex plus her father who as the mental health problems, I had to give my job up to look after the girls, I had worked at the nursing home for 8yrs fortunately I got my job back after she left with the girls, Social services seem to be under the impression that I don't think there is a risk to the girls, I told them I would not have tipped my whole life upside down and would have given her the girls back once the doctors told her she was fit to have them, But social services told under no circumstances was I to do this and to call the police if she tried to take them I conformed with every thing I was asked to do
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
What actually happened at the meeting?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
The meeting was held because, my son had been at his ex's house to help her get up in the morning as nobody in her family where helping her and he knew she was getting poorly again so he tried to get help. But they where asked by social services to do the course's for domestic abuse they had both agreed bur his partner took the girls before the course came up so they dropped it as his ex had told social services that she would never get back with him there is a very long history of this behaviour, they have been told that they can not see the girls together and must do the course which was agreed there are a lot of grey areas and a meeting is to be held in 3months to review but the parting comments where on whether we could protect the girls and they did not think we could But social services are saying the girls are in my care and as my son rightly said no they are not he is staying at my house with them they are in his care. They just ignored him, I have never said they are in my care. they are calling it a family arrangement but when the social worker came round she spoke to my son and myself after seeing his ex and told us that they are to stay here. The chair had spoke to my son and told him to put a complaint in about the time scale on receiving the letter as it was 2 days before yet his ex and her family where told a week ago about it, their where many allegations made But these have all been made by his ex and his family fortunately I have text messages to prove they are lying.
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
So just for clarity - in your mind do the children live with you, or do they live with your father who lives with you?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
The girls live with there mother, my son brought the girls to my house as their mother is ill, my son is staying with me as we all work and we are all working around the girls schooling and care needs, But social services keep saying the girls are in my care, My son keeps telling them that they are not he is with them as well and looks after their needs when he is home from work. I am their grandmother and I have them every other weekend, and holidays sometimes in the week when I'm not working but only on a grandma basis. My son works in shipping and can be called out to a job and can be away for weeks at a time he lives in a house 2 doors away but due to the situation he is staying with me. the have their own bedroom at my house.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
My son and his ex partner are not to see each other, together when the children are present, now that my son knows they are safe and his ex is getting help he as not seen his ex until yesterday at the conference and as only spoken to her on the phone.
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
Do the children have bedrooms in their father's house?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
yes they do but the house was broken into whilst he was looking after the girls at his ex's home and due to work and other commitments around the girls he as not had time to sort it out as yet an does not want the girls to see the house as it will worry them but it is a 3 bedroom house
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
the girls are all in my sons name and as full PR
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
What is the issue about Domestic Violence?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
In 2010 my son was cautioned and from there, there as been allegations, both sides deign been responsible how ever yesterday at the meeting his ex said it all starts from her drinking and she causes the problems they have both agreed to do a cause
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
My son as just informed me that is ex as told him that the crises team have told her she can not leave the house with out supervision if she does they will place her in a mental hospital. His ex is staying at her parents home and as some one with her 24/7
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
the domestic violence is my son restraining her when she attacks him and I have asked him to see someone regarding this as it is now recognised that men are also victims of domestic abuse, His ex also has a criminal record of this as she did it toher other ex partner
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
Is your son willing to adapt his life to care for the children full time?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
yes, this as been talked about in length,
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
In that case draw up the plan for how he will cope - and how soon they can move back and continue to support your son as carerWhat was the actual decision made by the conference
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
My son and his ex partner are not to be together with the children, they are to attend courses on D/V and the case will be reviewed in 3 months, Over the weekend his ex as been sectioned she is on a section 2 and been placed in a unit, she took speed in front of the mental health team and she left the care of the people who where supposed to be looking after her and got drunk and took drugs, I have just spoken to the girls school and the child liaison officer at the school as said that social services are still saying that they are in my care. She was at the meeting and heard my son on several occasions tell them that the girls where in his care and he was just staying at my house, she as even noticed that they are ignoring what he is saying
Expert:  Clare replied 7 months ago.
I am sorry about the extra distress for the children that must be being caused.The best way forward for your son at present is to write a formal letter confirming that the children are in his care but that at present they are all staying with you - and ask that this is noted on the file.He should then provide a copy of the plan that you have agreed between you - which should again emphasise that it represents HIS plan and your assistanceHe may also find some support from the groupwww.frg.org.ukI hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further detailsClare

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