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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34275
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I want to leave my husband as he is aggressive towards me

Resolved Question:

I want to leave my husband as he is aggressive towards me and controlling (very occasionally violent) he says I can go but he will not allow me to take our 2yr old son. He is very wealthy and says he will do whatever it takes to get full custody he has threatened that he will say I'm a bad mum and worse (I'm not) and that he will get the best solicitor to make sure our son lives with him and not me. I work 4 days a week and earn over the threshold to qualify for legal aid but will struggle to afford solicitor fees and he knows this. He says that no court in the land will let our son live with me when he can offer him everything that I can't, he has even said that he will give up work to make sure he gets him something I won't be able to do as I will need to support us when we leave. I'm really scared he will carry out his threats, please advise will the courts take my son?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further informtaion first

Who has had the day to day acre of the child until now?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare, I took a year off on maternity leave and then when I had to back to work hired a nanny which I pay for the 4 days whilst I work. I work from home so it's the best option for me as I still get to see him throughout the day.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

When was the last incident of violence?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

When was the last incidence of violence?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It was December this year he hit me on the arm
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It was December this year he hit me on the arm, apart from that he pushed me over in the September and hit me twice in the back whilst I was in bed sleeping last summer. After his last punch I told him if he touched me ever again i would call the police. Since then he just screams in my face it's quite frightening he's 6ft 4 and I'm 5ft 2
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Please ignore his threats - they have no basis in reality.

The law says that a child is entitled to have time with BOTH parents and when parents separate they are expected to agree between them what time the child should spend with each parent.

This can be done using Family Mediation if necessary.

If no agreement can be reached and mediation has failed then a Court application can be made.

The court will not look at material things that the parent has to offer - they will consider the needs of the child - and the principal needs are for stability and security.

Accordingly if you have been the main carer until now then that is what is most likely to continue, with the child also spending time with his father each week

The fact that he is continuing to be so verbally aggressive could mean that you can get na order excluding your ex from the home whilst negotiations are ongoing - so I suggest you

inform your ex that if he continues then you will report him for the new offence of emotional control and abuse.

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Clare that's really helpful. Where does the law stand on residency as I cannot afford to leave with my son until either the current house we all live in is sold or financials are settled. Can I ask my husband to leave whilst this gets sorted - is that an option for us to stay and him leave?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry my last message was not clear - do you know how long it would take to get an order to exclude him, if I can't will I still be able to ask him to leave?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

It certainly is an option.

Start the divorce proceedings as soon as possible and arrange a Meditation meeting to discuss the finances

If he reacts with violence - call the police and then apply for an emergency order to exclude him

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you