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Harris
Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2724
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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Please would like to know how to deal with my current

Resolved Question:

Hi, please would like to know how to deal with my current situation. I've been married for 4years now with two kids (4 and 6 months old). Me and my wife have been arguing lately and say abusive words to eachother, most of the times we always settle the situation afterwards. Recently we had a massive argument and things got physical that we ended up fighting and hitting eachother. I tried to resolve the situation and settle things but couldn't and eventually I had to leave our house because she asked me to as she needed some space. The day after we had a phone conversation and I found out that she has reported to the police claiming that I am a violent person but she didn't press charges. She told me that the police said I'm not allowed to see the kids alone and someone has to be there.. Please what do I do next?? Thanks.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. Are you still in the family home or have you moved out?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am currently out of the house since the day it happened. I also have tried to reach her today to talk about taking our Little boy to pre-school as i have always been doing but she said no. Also, i asked to see them before bed time this evening and she said no that she needed some space
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
All of my stuffs are still in the house though
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Are social services involved and were the children present when the incident happened?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No. Our lil boy was at pre-school at the time and the 6 months old baby was asleep upstairs at the time the incident happened
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Thanks for confirming. The incident that happened is obviously concerning and she could argue that the domestic abuse may impact the children, however, given your 4 year old was at school and the young age of your youngest, it will be difficult for her to attempt to impose supervised contact. However, to get things moving is there anyone, such as amicable friends or family members that can assist with some level of supervision to recommence your contact with the children?

For your information, your children have a right to a relationship with you and this can only be reasonably restricted if there are child protection concerns. If she does not agree to any proposals you make I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: familymediationcouncil.org.uk). The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the children's best interests. If mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well, she said i can only get in contact with the kids at home and has to be either of her parents present (Her dad or mum).
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

It may be best to at least agree to that to prevent any long delay in you seeing them and at the same time for you to proceed with the above course of action

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok and with the help of the mediator do you think it will still be a supervised contact with the kids? Would i be allowed to take the kid to school as usual?? Just would like your opinion about this please
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We have been talking via text messages and i did agree to it but i was just denied access when i asked to take him to school as usual and to come see the kids this evening before bed and she said no to both. The incident only just happened on Wednesday
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

The mediator will only be assisting to progress communications towards an agreement and they cannot advise on what should be agreed - this is where solicitors and a court will get involved.

As stated previously, supervised (where someone takes notes of what happens during the sessions) and supported (where someone is there to ensure that contact takes place without issue, but they do not take notes) is usually for cases where there is a risk towards the children or where the parent has not seen the children in a while and they need to develop the relationship between them. As the children did not witness the violence and this was the only time, from your information, it would likely be unnecessary for contact to be supervised, especially in the long-term.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you.

Harris and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
OK.. Thank YOU
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

I hope it goes well. If you have any questions in the future you can ask for me directly by starting your question For Harris

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