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Harris
Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I want to leave my husband and have no idea what to do or

Resolved Question:

Hi, I want to leave my husband and have no idea what to do or where to start...
JA: Thank you. Can you provide any more details to help us find you the right Expert?
Customer: he's very wealthy, i've not worked since our kids were born, I just want to know where I stand legally with the house and our children
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Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:
-Are you in England or Wales?
-How old are you both?
-How long have you been married?
-How old are the children and proposed arrangements?
-What assets and pensions do you both have (both sole and joint), together with values?
-What are your respective incomes?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
England,
I'm 41 he's 45
been married for 16 years in august
Our boys are 15 and 13 I have no idea of arrangements as I've been telling him that i'm not happy for the last six months and he is boring his head in the sand
the financial things i need to find out, I've not worked since our kids were born, he runs a massive company with his family thats very successful, I don't even know what is joint or sole.
How do I find out these things without making him suspicious? Or do I start by saying I want to separate and go from there? I don't feel like I have any power in this as I've been a Housewife while he been building up the family business.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry, burying his head in the sand not boring...
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The money side of it essentially is not important to me, i just want to make sure we do the best for our kids. I only want to make sure of my rights.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for confirming. If you are sure that the marriage has broken down you should inform him that you wish to separate and to settle matters amicably.

In the circumstances I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: familymediationcouncil.org.uk). The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the children's best interests.

Children Matter

If mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

Financial Matter

As part of the divorce you will need to reach a financial settlement, initially this should be attempted through mediation as stated above. If a settlement is agreed this can be submitted to court under a consent order (together with a D81 form outlining your respective financial positions).

If mediation does not progress you should then proceed with an application to court under Form A for financial relief once the divorce petition has been issued.

You will both need to provide each other with full and frank financial and income disclosure, as well as disclosure of your reasonable needs. The Court's starting point is a 50-50 split of all matrimonial assets and ensuring that initially the needs of the children (both housing and day to day needs as well as both your needs are met in relation to both assets and income. The criteria considered is:

1. The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;
2. The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
3. The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
4. The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
5. Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
6. The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;
7. The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;
8. In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring.

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

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