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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34288
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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The bottom images are the court order with the father The

Resolved Question:

The bottom images are the court order with the father
The next is the letter from the grandparents
Then my draft of why I was going to send them
Thank you claire
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire

Thank you for this

Can you just confirm - how many weekends do you work and how many is Dad away for?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have no timetable for him at the mo with the army t.a's he works part time in EE AS WELL when we went to court he gave many dates that he was away training one has lapsed and one in August. I have been off work but hope to return end of August I am a response officer front line with the police. Due to all the stress etc they are trying to accommodate me a recuperative role inside at my home town
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I need his rota then my rota when I return really don't you think otherwise the grandparents are on my back saying they need actual dates times etc as they don't trust me in changing them. Which I never do maliciously just last minute my son Tim can have a party or something.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Alternate weekends is not an unreasonable request in itself - is there a reason why you feel that would be too much (and yes the father needs to be there!)

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel the judge did the ruling for once a week as this is acceptable for him it's the grandparents that are putting the pressure on and also I have a new partner and they know that Tim is very close to him and has a big Input with myself on his upbringing and they are thinking that this would have more of an effect on Tim. Tim does not want to be away from myself for that amount of time every other week.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Whilst I believe that the letter from the grandparents is overbearing and unnecessary I also have to be honest with you - now that the relationship has been re-established there is little doubt that the court would move towards alternate weekends - or at least one in three IF the father will be there

I think your suggestion that it should start with just one night is reasonable - but it will need to build up to two - the six month review would work there

You also need to remove the reference to what your son would chose.

He is much too young to be asked - and if he was the court would not take his wishes into account.

Apart from that your letter is an excellent response to what was an unpleasant rant

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What would you end it with Clare as Tim loves his time spent with myself
but will not add what Tim would want thank you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What about this
Finally, and most importantly Tim would want to continue to spend the majority of his time with his mother (as he always has) and some quality time with his parental father and wider family in Aberdare. I feel my compromised proposal offers this and I will support it, as I always have. However, I hope this means that we can be grown up about this and that we don’t have to be constantly texting and phoning with changes being made your end on a daily basis.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I think you should say

"Tim is still young enough that the essentials are stability and security which is what I have always provided him with.

I have always promoted his contact with you, even when Simon was away, as I believe that he does need quality time with his paternal and wider family.

I think that my proposal offers this - and hope that we can avoid constant texts and phone calls about changes you wish to make."

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Lastly before I go to bed I have sent you the original when I received their letter which is more of getting things off my chest.
To the revised new one which you have kindly helped me with. Is there anything from the 4 paged original I should include or not. Thank you Clare so much I feel much better now having corresponded with you.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I would incorporate the bit about Simon being able to collect from school - when you are talking about the Tuesday night contact put something like

" As you are very well aware I have ensured that the school are aware that Simon is indeed authorised to collect form school - as he has already done"

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you