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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34272
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Help with pages 6 and 7 of C100 form urgently please

Customer Question

Help with pages 6 and 7 of C100 form urgently please
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you

What do you need to know?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Claire. I started another question as no box to pay extra on last one. You were helping me with the urgent application for specific issue and child arrangements orders.We have had to re-do part of the form to take in tomorrow instead of today. Am stuck on 4a and 4b again. Page 6 is 4a. That is ok up to the point where it says "what efforts have you made to put the respondent on notice ...." I am guessing this means we have to text or email BEFORE taking the application to court, is that correct?Page 7 is 4b and I have left that page blank as it is about without notice hearings - is that correct please?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Also in "Set out order directions sought" I have put "Specific Issues order allowing me to take the child on holiday from xxx to xxx"
Do I also put the Child Arrangements order here or not?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok I think I get it now. Because have put want a hearing within 48 hours, we have to notify her that there is going to be a hearing within 48 hours, is that right? So if we send an email in the morning saying "this is to notify you that there will be a court hearing in 2 days time for a specific issue to order holiday for child from 27th September to 3rd September." Would that do?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

What happened at the meeting?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Child wasn't there. Showed her holiday details. She told him he didn't have parental responsibility (not true), and wanted him to sign a document she had drawn up with all sorts of restrictions to our lives and saying she was the only parent with parental responsibility. He didn't sign the document but took it away with him. She said if he signed it he could see son, but the document was "Rules of Unsupervised child Access" Not to allow child on the bed, partner must personally look after child, not leave child in anyone else's care, never leave child alone with me unless she has a doctors note saying my foot is better and I am capable of looking after children, not take him on holiday unless he can guarantee he will be with him at all times. On top of that she wanted my date of birth to do some investigations on me. He didn't give it or sign the document.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The document also said he was not allow him to let child join clubs, go and play at other peoples' houses etc without her consent.
Basically it seems to have stemmed from him having a nice time with us at a summer school week (which she had agreed to) and child making a friend,- ie feeling a bit threatened by my existence and hence saying I am a danger to children and not fit to look after them because I have a bad foot.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We have to set off early to get to court an hour away as there is no Judge with a family ticket tomorrow at local court. Would sending an email tonight do? Something like this?"Just to confirm that I have, today, given you the details you requested of the holiday and that you are still withholding my contact with J.I have read the document you have given me and it is not the case that you are the sole parent with parental responsibility. I can see there are some issues that need addressing, and suggest mediation, once my normal contact with Jamie is resumed.
I have already given you assurances that you need have no concerns about our family life, and I accept that you would like more discussion over issues like clubs Jamie attends.This email is to put you on notice that I will be issuing an application at the court with a view to a hearing date on Thursday, so I can take J on holiday as previously agreed."
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes that is fine

4a - you do not refer to the general Child Arrangements Order as it s not urgent - this page is about the urgent part.

You are asking for a hearing on 48 hours notice - so on Thursday.

You should say that she is aware that you intend to apply and that you will personally serve her that evening.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

.

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much Clare. I can't sleep and we're off in a few hours to put the application in. Fingers crossed it'll get accepted, then if Partner has to serve it to her, he can maybe get chance to at least get a glimpse of child and see if he looks reasonably ok.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We had the application accepted and have a hearing for Thursday morning. The papers say that at that the court will give consideration at this hearing to issuing further directions in relation to the application for a Child Arrangements Order. Other half had to serve the papers on child's Mother. We went there around lunchtime and other half said he suspected, having received the email, she would have taken advice and may refuse to take the papers or not open the door, so we prepared for this. He was correct. She did open the door but said "no" when he said, I have to give you this, so he held it forward and let it drop so it was inside the doorway and walked away. He now thinks she may say she is sick and can't go to the hearing or something. She shouted after him that child did not want to go on holiday with him. So a bit upsetting to think she is probably telling child what to say. I don't know what we hoped for - maybe that she would back down a bit or be prepared to discuss things reasonably when she realised things were going to court, but it seems as if she will not co-operate or ignore things maybe. Assuming we got the order to take him on holiday, what would we do if she refused to let Partner pick him up or just said - he doesn't want to go and not letting Partner pick him up?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Lots of calm here

If you get a specific issue order then I suggest that you arrange to collect the child a night early - then if she will not agree you can be back in court the next morning for an order allowing the police to accompany your partner and collect the child

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you - we asked for Saturday to Saturday dates, so do we ask the court to order for the Friday night? Assume we can't go back to court on a Saturday so it would end up being the Monday. We expect she will fill in the form to send back and claim abuse as that seems to be her argument. All we had referred to in the summary was that Partner had received extremely unpleasant messages and that child's Mother claims I have a Police record, and that we have documentary evidence that I do not. I suppose we will just have to see what happens. We do have an appointment with a Solicitor tomorrow (had to cancel today due to time it took at court). It seems strange that I should be the one accused when I will not be part of the hearing. I suppose Partner just denies it categorically and points out that child has been jumping up and down on our bed since he was in nappies.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Ask to collect at 12 noon on the Friday

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. So we now need to prepare for the hearing. Don't what we need to do. Presumably we need more than the initial summary. Some extra statement of some kind? And some evidence? eg the text messages, child's birth certificate to prove parental responsibility. Partner seems to think there might need to be documents as evidence that I have a good character or something.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes your partner needs to work out what he intends to say to the court

He needs to create a Chronology - a list of dates - when they met, when the child was born, when they parted when you started living together etc.

Taking the Birth Certificate is a good idea.

If you have ever been DBS checked then take that

Your partner needs to have notes as to what he is wishing to achieve and why

basically this sudden change in attitude appears to be based on her misunderstanding of her legal position and the fact that the child enjoys the time he spends with you

He shoudl point out that when the child is with him then it is up to him who he sees and spends time with provided he is safe

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. ***** think that is the main point. He has parental responsibility and it is his decision if something is ok. Chronology has all been done really in the summary in the Application. I had a CRB in about 2003. I have the number, but lost the certificate. I was told at the time, the number was enough. Obviously it's not recent. So keep focused on:1) My (ie his) responsibility who is ok with child when he is with me. My Partner has done nothing inappropriate.
2) Wish to achieve acceptance by child's Mother than an innocent situation in a home is being exaggerated and taken out of proportion and out of context, because she is upset about something and wants to change things.For example. Our bedroom also doubles up as our office - it is a relaxing place to sit. The printer is in the bedroom and more space to spread things out on top of the bed and do work sometimes. I shouldn't have to explain things like this.3) Wish to achieve continuing with my usual pattern of contact for child, take him on holiday as planned and have this accusation put to rest. There is no substance to it. It began with a text accusing my Partner of being lazy and I responded saying there was nothing wrong with parenting while sat on top of a bed. Anything after that has become emotion, exaggeration and threat.4) I wish to present the following evidence:
a) Child's birth certificate and change of name document, confirming I have parental responsibility
b) Enhanced CRB registration number for my Partner.
c) Initial text message from child's mother and my response.
d) Subsequent messages from child's mother, to which I did not respond.
e) Text messages indicating that child's Mother's parenting has inappropriate punishments for minor things
f) Text messages indicating that child's Mother stops contact as a punishment for minor things.
g) Document child's mother wished me to sign, giving up my parental responsibility, in order to keep contact with child and with lots of information that has no evidence behind it.
h) Copy of email from child's Mother in response to my brief email notification of the application - which is just more arguing and exaggeration.
i) Clean Police record for PartnerAs such I do not feel child's Mother has any argument at all and request that this whole accusation be ignored.Something like that?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Not quite

A proper chronology - a separate document with just the list of dates and events on - no details just basics

then

1. I have parental responsibility for the child and have been with my partner since xxx

we have had xxx regularly and have been planning this holiday since xxx

2. I got a text message on xxx saying my partner was lazy - i texted back - then got this strange accusation of "grooming" and was asked to sign an agreement

3. I want my holiday to take place and eventually to get an Order confirming the ongoing arrangements

Have four copies of the emails regarding the accusation (c and d) available and four copies of the agreement he was asked to sign.

Take the birth certificate - and a photo of the bedroom/office

lThis is NOT the place for comments about the mother's care of the child - and do not dwell on the accusation at al

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That's great, thank you. Partner also said not the text messages about Mother's care of child. I also thought showing a pattern of similar instances would help (maybe as part of the timeline), as that was a point made in the summary - ie that Partner has had access stopped a number of times for various reasons which were not about much. As part of the timeline: 14 Dec 2014 Access stopped due to child forgetting a teddy bear (see document a), 4 April 2011 Access stopped due to child's mother saying I must have told him to say something. ie document (a) being a text message.Do you think that would make a relevant point that this is not a one-off thing with some serious issue behind it, but has been a regular pattern with similar reasons that are no reason at all really?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes put the dates of disruptions in - but no referring to documents

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. What is the timeline for please? Is it for giving to people to see, or just to read out from/refer to.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I would have copies available to show to the Magistrates - so keep it as just a statement of events

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. I'm not sure what kind of details are relevant to timeline. A lot of events seem to refer to child's Mother's family rather than us. They moved a few times, we stayed the same. Plus child's mother having him investigated for various medical issues for a year or two (there weren't any medical issues - he was given the all clear each time. Is that relevant to put in?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

None of those are relevant.

What is relevant is when they started living together and got married

When the child was born

when they separated

when you and he met/started living together

when you met the child

when she has stopped contact before

dates of any holidays you have taken with him in the past

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you Clare. Can I just clarify this bit please about the documents to attach.
"Have four copies of the emails regarding the accusation (c and d) available and four copies of the agreement he was asked to sign."The accusations were in text messages which have been exported into a program and printed out - is this acceptable?
Not sure what c and d are.
1st text message said I was lazy and said little boy had to get into bed with me.
Partner replied parenting while on top of a bed wasn't a crime and it was normal to leave a child with a Partner.
Lots of subsequent messages getting more and more exaggerated.So - should I have first message, partner's reply and one of the subsequent messages (the one about grooming) - or all of them (about 6 altogether). One of them undermines the whole accusation when she says it was child who had said I was lazy.Should I also attach the print out of the text Partner sent a day or say later asking to pick child up as arranged and the response of Absolutely not (with further info about her going to social services).Then the copy of the document
And ? The copy of the email from yesterday claiming she has sole parental responsibility.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes all six of those messages - do not bother with the one from yesterday

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. We got everything put together and with your help it seemed fine, but got cold feet about not having a Solicitor at the hearing when child's Mother said she had one. The one we had an appointment with today got called out urgently so we saw a trainee who took basic details, then emailed what we had prepared so far, to the one who will go to court with us in the morning - who we haven't actually met yet!
I am extremely upset and stressed today after the short session with the trainee Solicitor who said it wasn't about me it was about the child and my Partner is the one who is making the application. We know this, but it is my reputation that is on the line and I won't even be in the hearing to speak up for myself!
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am afraid that she is correct - and however hard it is for you you have to accept that.

You are actually giving his ex exactly what she wants - you are distressed and allowing it to take over your life

Do please stop.

His ex has made a stupid comment and used current paranoia to try and upset contact.

She no more thinks there is a real problem than she thinks the moon is made of cheese.

That is why it is important that the only thing that is concentrated on is restarting the ocntact and ensuring the holiday - do please stop letting her win

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. You are quite right. I feel better now I'm back home. It does seem strange though that the outcome of the hearing hinges on whether or not I am suitable, when I am not there. I hope our Solicitor tomorrow is as good as you!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can't thank you enough.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

You are welcome - good luck

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Holiday ordered, contact ordered, no Cafcass. We couldn't have done it without you. It meant we had all the preparation done (timeline, attachments and so on) to give straight to the Solicitor on the day. There was a lot of toing and froing between Solicitors apparently (I wasn't part of it all) and only about 5 minutes in front of a Judge, who laughed when he saw the text messages. Am still a bit spaced out so can't remember everything. I think the only reason the contact was ordered same day was because it was by consent after thrashing out. The downside is his ex was being difficult about getting minor points agreed and we have ended up with her having phone calls to child every other day while we are on holiday. Plus I was only allowed to sit upstairs with my leg up for a maximum of two hours. Our Solicitor said - just agree that, the Judge is getting annoyed with it all. She accused other half of bullying her and asked him to pay £750 for child's holiday with her and other half said no. Anyway - it is an excellent result, apart from the annoying things of still trying to control our personal lives.Thank you so very much.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

So pleased - so very pleased

Do not worry about the two hours it is not posisble to enforce it!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you! Maybe we can get on and move house now (which was what we were trying to do when this started).
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Enjoy the holiday first!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you! Except we are under notice to move aargh. We should have been moving before the holiday. But things not ready with purchase anyway, so it'll just have to take a bit longer. We have the phone calls issue to sort out now. As it's in the agreement. No signal where we are staying and I don't fancy child's Mum ringing constantly trying to get hold of us, so have suggested to Partner we arrange for child to call her around lunch time every other day from Partner's phone. We normally have a spare mobile we give to child in case he gets lost or something while away. Other half says let him ring from that. I am saying no because there will be constant calls and texts to that phone if she knows child has it! So am putting my foot down here - after this last week I want my own way on that issue!
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Your position is the correct one.

A short phone call while you are out - if he has a phone he should not use it to phone mum

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you Clare. Partner has picked him up. His Mum has given him a phone and told him to call or text her every day and said my Partner is not to leave him on his own with me! He is a bit strange and disrespectful, but getting back to normal a bit now he's been in the house for a while. He seems alright in himself. I don't see how we can have normal family life if I have to be shadowed! I think we will mostly ignore it but will be together all week anyway on holiday.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Normally we take it in turns to read a bedtime story but now it feels like I shouldn't sit on his bed to read him a story or be in there by myself. Not good. I think it needs challenging - as in Partner texting her and reminding her that the matter has been dealt with in court, little boy will be allowed the phone on alternate days to call her.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I mean she has told child that my Partner is not allowed to leave me on my own with him.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Right

Confiscate the phone and carry on reading bedtime stories just as usual do NOT let her change the life the child has with you.

No texts nothing until Sunday when he uses your partners phone to spend 5 minutes ont he phone - and the call is ended if she tries to quiz him on time spent with you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Just an update - hope you don't mind. Holiday difficult first few days. Child had been told a lot of damaging (untrue) things about us, particularly me, and didn't seem to accept either of us had any authority so was rude and badly behaved a lot (out of character) but occasionally testing us out asking if xyz was true and what relation OH was to him. We just said no xyz wasn't true but said it was maybe a "misunderstanding" so he didn't feel in the middle, and reassured him that yes OH is his legal Father and parent and I am a step-parent. Not sure if this was a hangover from the 10 days before the court hearing, or since. By the end of the week things were more or less back to normal, triggered by OH having a birthday during the holiday which brought back good memories and familiar habits on birthdays. Phone was gradually removed but we let him check it once or twice a day because he was anxious he would get into trouble if he didn't reply to the texts. The texts were mostly lovey dovey and keeping him in her thoughts, and his behaviour deterioriated after them at first, but not by the end of the week. Since then we had an anxious night when contact was stopped late in the day for a pick-up that night, but after various emails and texts, was allowed again (claiming illness due to tummy ache). Pick up from school for the week-end went ok, despite our anxieties something would happen. We've been keeping a diary of events as issues occur. Things are not the same and child is still rejecting of me a lot and keeps a distance from me, but is still affectionate with OH. We have also had a few nasty emails accusing OH of bullying and saying child doesn't want to come to us and OH is forcing him to by having gone to court. We were hoping things would just go back to normal - maybe they will but his ex seems set on changing things so child is only with her from now on (change wanted we suspect due to a) us buying a house and b) younger half brother starting at the same school and she wants to be a normal family now without OH or me around). Main problem is effect on child and we're hoping regular times with us will help but his behaviour has changed and it's making things difficult for both of us to parent him effectively at times. To the point where if either of us tries to discipline over something he should or shouldn't do, he threatens to tell his Mother (whilst still saying going back to his Mother's is the worst thing he can imagine) - so he is confused and mixed up and affected. Also OH has now had communication from Cafcass and a phone interview arranged. We weren't expecting this as hearing said no Cafcass necessary, but seems Cafcass think differently, so we are still anxious wondering what it is all about.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

The CAFCASS contact is the normal usual process with any ordinary court applications and is about identifying the issues and checking there are no safeguarding issues involved.

It may be that the child will need some counselling - but it is still early days and being back in school may assist