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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33807
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I am a non resident parent with a shared residency court

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Hi, I am a non resident parent with a shared residency court order in place (for the past 3 years) the resident parent has told me that she is not going to let me see my son under the original order anymore as she believes he gets too upset. I of course know this is untrue and feel it is based on her own levels of anxiety (which she suffers from) and feel she is manipulating him. I have strong reason to believe this is the case as she has also lied to my sons teachers about his behaviour (which she has been caught out on and often makes excuses for us to discuss any issues regarding our son but can she legally stop me from seeing him in this way and what can I do about it to see him again?
She is saying that she wants us to go to mediation in the mean time, of course I want to resolve this issue but I am worried she is going to try and change to order?
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Expert:  Harris replied 6 months ago.

Hi, thanks for your question. How old is the child and what are the arrangements?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
He is 6. (7 in February) we have a shared residency order (I am the non resident parent) and I see him every week but have him every other weekend Friday To Sunday. And every Tuesday after school for a few hours. I speak to him on the phone every week and during the holidays I have him for 3 whole weeks in total (on off every other weeks) and we split the 1/2 terms. I have real concerns about my ex partners anxiety issues and feel she is manipulating the situation and my son...is there grounds for emotional abuse. I am now considering applying to be the resident parent as I have major concerns about her emotionally manipulating my son. It seems only her and her husband experience these apparent out burtd with my son. Obviously there are times during the transition where by he will get a little upset but he has never refused and always as soon as we are out of her view he is back to 'normal' again. There was a recent handover where I will agree on handover, he was really upset and said he wanted one more day with his mummy and his dog. But me and his other mum had also had an argument the night before and she was angry with me because I would not agree to travel an additional hours journey (making it 2hrs 30) and asked her to meet me 1/2 way) this was because once again she lied to me and said the place that they were staying at was only the usual travel distance of 1hr 30 and was caught out, so I find it a real coincidence that he was reluctant to come at first. Once we calmed him down he was fine and came with me. I took photos of us all together smiling, times and dates as evidence and photos after they had gone when my son was calm again and am requesting cctv footage of us all in a shop together and my son is fine as she is claiming that she had to force him to go with me. I hope I can use this as evidence too?Ps I also requested a live phone call for this query is that possible?
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you

Your ex cannot simply change the existing arrangements since they are the subject of an Order which you can apply to enforce if need be.

If she wishes to change then then there does have to be an attempt at mediation and then an applictaion for a new Child Arrangement Order.

Equally if you wish to change the arrangements the same applies

There are no longer residence orders - they are called "child arrangements orders'

There is no point in getting CCTV footage.

It is accepted that many children who are genuinely distressed at handovers settle swiftly afterwards - so neither the evidence of distress nor the evidence that he is happy have any great relevance

If you would still like a phone call then I will send the request - but please be aware that the site charges extra for the service

Please ask if you nave any further details

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Hi thanks for your reply, she has requested mediation but I want to know in the mean time can she actually physically stop me having him over night under our current order?
Can I get a statement from the school to confirm that they have no issues or concerns with my son regarding this and that they recognise sometimes kids get a little upset when the other parent clients or drops off at school (as that's what they regularly tell me) would it be worth it?I will go to mediation however I have no intentions of changing the set up as I feel there are no real issues between my son and I (more my ex and her anxiety)Can I legally request that because of her anxieties and the impact it has on our son that she goes for counselling as I truly believe that is a major issue (as well as the fact that she does not want to co parent with me especially as she now has her husband and insists he is only ever referred to 'our son' as dad and not step dad. I actually feel they are both colouding to start drip feeding my son into this. There have been many issues with the way they acknowledge me in front of my son and lies etc. They even told my son after they got married that he was called Cunningham (husbands surname) when it wasn't true and my son was really upset and confused by it all. (They admitted it and apologised to me) there are many other examples but this is why I am highly suspicious of what they're saying to George. They asked to swap a contact day in may and refused to give it back to me after, they told they were busy for the rest of the year. I have been consistant, and always there for my son yet I am still being pushed aside. I don't want to have to go back to court but I need to know my rights here. I couldn't bare to have my current contact stopped we have a great relationship and George love his other side of my family too. It's not fair to him. What is my best option?
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

In so far as you cannot simply go to her house and remove the child from her then yes realistically she can stop the contact.

If she does that then your option is to go to court to enforce the order.

Actually given all the matters that your have mentioned your ex could find herself in some difficulty if it comes to court - and the outcome could be an increase

not a decrease in contact given the evidence that she is trying to create problems.

If the matter does go to court a letter from the school saying they have no concerns would be excellent - but it would be unfair to ask them to go further than that

A court cannot order her to have counselling - but you can certainly ask for it when you are at mediation

Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33807
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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