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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1598
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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My wife has fallen in love with another man. She left home

Customer Question

My wife has fallen in love with another man. She left home to live with her lover. She left the children with me and left. First I proposed to her to live in the matrimonal home and I will leave home to live elsewhere. She told me she does not want the children and since I am always with the children more than her she would prefer that I live at home with children and she moves home. Her solicitor served me with a petition to divorce I duly signed it but my son told me not to post it. My wife want the divorce badly to marry the man she had fallen in love. Since I refused to send the petition he has been stalking me and become very aggressive and violent. She has sworn to have 100% custody of the children she has never taken care of. I want an advice before meeting a family lawyer and will narrate by part of the story and my desire to have 100% custody of the children and will have right of visit.
Submitted: 1 month ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 month ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:

-How old are the children?

-How long have you been married?

-Under what fact did she apply for divorce?

-What are your respective asset and income positions?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
The children are aged 12 son and 7 daughter. We have been married for 14 years. Reason for divorce was I buy and hoard and incompatibility. Assets nothing substantial basic I will. I am a security officer trainer and security consultant and she is a nurse with NHS. She has never disclosed her income to me. Since I ran my own business I will say my income is around £30-35k.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 month ago.

Thanks. Is the family home owned or rented and in whose name? If owned what is the value and outstanding mortgage?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Rented in both names.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 month ago.

Thanks for confirming. As the home is the former matrimonial home and is in both names, she will have a right to occupy the property - whether she wishes to do so is unlikely as she is in another relationship.

In relation to the divorce I would suggest you consider allowing it to proceed as it is unlikely that you have grounds to defend the breakdown of the relationship.

In relation to the children, given that the children are in your care and if she were to immediately take main care of them they will likely start having contact with her new partner, a court will likely find it unreasonable that this happens immediately.

In the circumstances I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the children's best interests. If mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1. The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

Expert:  Harris replied 1 month ago.

Hi, this question remains open. If you found my information provided helpful please could you rate my response positively using the stars at the top of this page as I will not be credited for my response without a positive rating.

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