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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34236
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I would like to get some clear clarification. I have 2 boys,

Resolved Question:

Good day,I would like to get some clear clarification. I have 2 boys, 3yrs old and a 4 mth old. My partner and I live together. We are both on the birth certificates.We are just not getting on, and I just feel in my heart that I need to move out, but I need to take a few months to give this some well deserve thought, before a make this life changing decision. My partner wont have any of it, he is not willing to discuss a break up, moving out, counseling or anything.If I has the mother, feels that its in the best interest for all of us, my partner has threatened me, with reporting me to the police for kidnapping. I have tried to explain to him, that I am not going to stop him from seeing the kids, I just know that is not right, everyone deserves to know their parents.I know I cant' move overseas, or to Scotland, I do understand that part, but am I allowed to move within England?I know he is not allowed to take them being the father, because under law isn't it the mothers responsibility for the children?There are so many mothers to move their kids, is this kidnapping? Can I move?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

Who has the day to day care of the children?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi ClaireApologies for the delay in reply. Well we both work, I will be "part time" working 4 days and 1 day from home from January (on maternity leave.Ultimately its me, my partners working hours are hectic, and he is hardly at home
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

You both have equal parental responsibility for the chidlren and the right to have them in your care

If you do chose to leave and take the chidlren with you then provided you stay in the Uk you cannot be accused of kidnapping

In fact your partner has equal right to move out with the chidlren - neither of you has more right than the other.

The fact that you have more of the care of the children means that if the matter goes to court because you cannot agree then they are likely to spend more time with you

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for the reply.Sorry I just need to make I have it clear in my head.So I can pack our bags and move, I don't want him to know where we are. I dont want to go down the restraining order route. (i dont really know what grounds you can get one? is it only violence? because then I wont get one.but i know he will look for us and go to the police for kidnapping, because that is his train of thought. Will this be a police matter? Surely not? I cant imagine they run around looking for moved out woman and children.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes you can move out . It will not be seen as kidnapping - the police will simply check that you and the children are safe and well.

Your ex will be entitled to have a relationship with the chidlren and you will have to agree contact arrangements

he may apply to have the children live with him - then the court will have to decide what is best for the children

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. That's what I thought.Yes I totally agree, every child has a right to know their both parents, no matter who the father is, but there clearly has to be a "cooling down" period when I do move out, because emotions will be high from both of us, so once I've been in "hiding" and everything calms down, only then can we decide what we want to do about them seeing him.Its the "hiding" part I want to make absolute sure of, from a legal perspective.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Rather than simply "hiding" once you have gone then immediately arrange to discuss matters using family mediation so that you are being proactive