Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you today.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are experiencing with your ex.
It seems very clear to me that your children do not want to live with their father full time.
If this is the case -let him waste his money and apply to court for an order that they live with him - it will be fruitless for him.
The reason I say this is because your children are of a sufficent age that the court would give high regard to their wishes and feelings. They do not need a solicitor. The court can arrange for a Childrens and Families Officer to speak to your children and ascertain their views. It is highly unlikely that a court will rule againt their wishes and feelings.
This couped with the fact that your children have always lived with you - means that your ex is going to get very far!
Do not worry. Try mediation and expain your position - as long as he doesnt try to manipulate you during the process.
If he applies to court - relax and do not worry. A children and families officer will call you befoe the first hearing. You can explain your position to them.
Just because he applies to court doesnt mean that he will be successful.
Maybe its the skeptic in me - but perhaps he's after the benefits for the children.
let me know if I can hep you further
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Bless you - its so good to hear that you feel better!
If you were a terrible mother - then social services would be involved in the care fo your children and they are not.
If he does make an application to court - keep calm about it all. Make sure that when you speak to the children and families officer you tell them about all the past.
I have had numerous cases like this and often when the father realises that court isnt a walk in the park - and that he wont get residence just because he's asking for it - they often withdraw the proceedings.
Your children are old enough and clearly have a loving relationship with you - just let then know if a child friendly way what is going on and how a children and familie officer may like to speak to them so that they can be listened too and heard.
Your ex sounds like a lovely chap.
The reality is that the court wont probably even entertain an application in respect of your son now.
If mediation doesnt work then he can apply to court straight away. The first hearing is usually after 6 weeks so that the children and families officers (cafcass) can do the standard safeguarding for any application made in respect of children - these means checking police and social services records for both of you. Your ex's past will come up.
Whist you ex can apply for a specific issue in respect of your sons school - if your son wants to be there - no court is going to rue against that - especailly given that he will be on with his GCSE's and that is really important for him.
Courts usually only consider applications in respect of children aged 14 or under - that being because they ony last until 16. In your case as both your children are saying the same thing - let your ex apply for both and apply in respect of the specific issue about the schooling. Its going to strengthen the position for your children when they are saying the same thing.
If your children are adamant they want things to stay the same - his application is going to be a waste of time for him.
All you have to do is actively encourage your children to spend time with their father.
If your children dont want to go - especially if this is a result of thier fathers actions - then a court will not make them - as your children can simply choose to vote with their feet.
Their father is playing a hard game - they are not babies but young adults - and they will be able to see what is going on.
Although I doubt the court will require the additional statements at an early stage - should he pursue his application - then yes - this will assist you case that he has ulterior motives and that residence to him os not what the children want and it is not in their best interest.
let me know if I can help you further.
Thank you Debra - I am glad that I could help you today. If you are happy with the service - I'd also be grateful if you could star rate the service on this page - this means we get credit for helping you today.
If I can help you further - don't hesitate to ask.