Thank you for your question
My name is Clare
I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first
How often has this been a problem?
Thank you that was what I needed - and yes hindsight is an awesome thing
You are free to use your name for the children at holiday clubs etc - but not anywhere "official".
To use a double barrelled name - or even use it as a new middle name - you need either the consent of the father or an Order from the Court.
The Court is very reluctant to agree to a change of name in general circumstances.
However since you wish to double barrel rather than change you have a reasonable chance of success.
However do not stress that you so not wish them to feel "different" - it is not an unusual position and many of their class mates will be in the same situation.
Also when dealing with anyone else do not talk about "allowing" contact - it will give the wrong picture of the flexible approach you actually use!
The starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation - you have to attend the Mediation Information and Assessment meeting even if he will not.
If that fails you can apply to the court for a specific issue order using a form C100 and paying the fee of £215.
Take a calm and measured approach and emphasise that it is a way of linking the "new"family without losing the old.
I hope that this is of assistance please ask if you need further details
Anyone who guarantees the outcome of a court case is misleading you.
We can give our best indication but in the end too much depends on the personalities of the Magistrates or District Judge and how well you and your ex give evidence - none of which are predictable.
In addition each case is decided on its specific fact and such cases are very rarely reported.
The leading case on the matter is well reported here
You can find the Welfare checklist that the courts follow here
You do not have a great case for changing their names BUT since you are introducing a middle/double barrel name you have a chance of success - it is a matter of showing that there are positive reasons for ding so - which is why I refer to the idea of showing that it is how you are linking the new extended family - your chidlren and his together.
If you are planning a joint child then delaying until that is a reality may assist.
In addition if you wait a few years (say until they are 10) their wishes will also have more wieght