Thank you for your question
My name is Clare
I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first
How old is the child?
That is a large gap.
Has she said why is she is scared of the visits
Have the school raised any concerns about her?
Is the correct name used as school and everywhere official?
Where and when is it used?
Has she written it on?
Well that will indeed explain the distress shown by the child.
However in the absence of any independent evidence of distress - such as the school raising concerns - it is unlikely that the pattern can be changed.
However once the child is 12 her wishes take more precedence and if she still wishes to reduce the contact it will be worth starting the process of mediation with a view
to making a court applictaion to reduce the contact.
It could also be worth finding out what counselling the school offers as this will be a way of helping the child deal with the conflicting emotions she currently feels.
I appreciate that this is not what you wished to hear - but it reflects the position that you are in