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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34234
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My sons father pays maintenance on a regular basis, however

Customer Question

My sons father pays maintenance on a regular basis, however he does not see him or contact him. I have given him many opportunty /chances to make a mends to have a relationship after one minute promising he'll make an effort with our child but he reverts back to broken promises and let downs. He was promoted in work and I offered him to keep the money enabling him to see his son,he chose to contact the CSA to pay what he should have been paying over seeing his child. My child is autistic and very aware that his dad is around and talks about him most weeks so I know he wants him in his life. I've sent numerous messages explaining this and also explaining for a while our son was finding it particularly hard and to the point that I was considering having him assessed for depression at 11 years of age. I knew not seeing or hearing from his dad was having such a negative emotional impact on him. There seems to be help there for dads who wish to see their children but nothing for the mother /child who would like nothing more than to have their dad in their life?
Could a letter be sent through a solicitor to him explaining everything that I've already explained for years and the impact its having on him and asking him to reconsider how he treats his child and be open for contact/visits?
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you

I am afraid that there is indeed nothing that you can do to force your ex to spend time with his child - you can write or you can get a solicitor to write - but it will make no difference.

You cannot make this man be a good father - he does not have it in him

I am afraid the only answer is for you to stop factoring this man in your lives at all

I am sorry I know that this is not what you wish to hear but sadly this is the legal position as it is

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Thank you,
I'd like a letter to be sent to him to reconsider how he fathers his first born child and explaining the effect its having on him by choosing not be a dad to him. If he chooses not to be in his life then I'd like a written response explaining that.
He as his father is neglecting him as a parent and causing him emotional distress , it's unbelievable that action can be taken against them if they don't pay up and yet nothing for the emotional distress but to us mothers who watch their children suffer the money means nothing! If there is a possibility to send a letter then that's what I will do, could i do that through you or would I have to go elsewhere?
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

You can pay a solicitor to send such a letter - but your ex is free to ignore it rather than reply.

However by writing you are simply causing more grief to you and your son.

Your son is lucky - he has a great mum and that is worth much much more than money.