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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34123
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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This may sound petty but i just need your opinion please.

Customer Question

HI, this may sound petty but i just need your opinion please. I.m divorced, of 3 year 5 months. i have my children every Wednesday after school for the night and take them to school Thursday morning, and have them every other weekend from 2pm Saturday until 6pm Sunday evening.
My problem is my ex likes to mess me around at times.Such as moving house and not telling me, not there when i take the children back home etc.When ive asked her to swap weekends on the rare occasion due to an event she will always say no or if yes, will then let me down last minute.
Now, when she wants to do something and wants to change days, she will tell me i must and my children want to see more of me.She has also told me to take a week off next April to have the children so she and her boyfriend can go on holiday. I'm self employed and cant just afford to take a week off when it suites her. I feel constantly bullied by her and made to feel like a bad father. If i give in to her requests, then i get it in the ear from my girlfriend for being a push over.
I'm so confused what the right thing is to do.
Please can you give me some professional advice? I know about mediation but i would like your opinion.Thank you.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first.

How old are the chidlren and do you wish to have extra time with them - if so what pattern would suit you best?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi, 12 and 9, Yes but i work late and dont get home till 8 most evenings. I used to have them on the Sunday afternoon of not my weekend but she stopped that and take them to school Monday morning but she stopped that too. I'm quite happy the way things are but she wants me to have them when i'm at work or i have plans with my girlfriend. Shes always telling me i dont do enough,I just fell bullied. I'm happy to hear if i'm doing wrong too.
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

Do you have extra time with them in the school holidays?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
for a week in August, sometimes all day on the Wednesday in other holidays. I dont take much time off work because im self employed and cant afford to.
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

You both have Parental responsibility for the children which means that how their time is shared between you is something that must be negotiated - neither parent has more power than the other and if no agreement can be reached then the Court will have to decide the matter

You cannot be force to have the hcildren when you are not able to do so - nor is it reasonable of her to take away time that you have with them unless there is good reason to do so

You should discuss matters with her using Family mediation

www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk.

There is no reason why you should not have the children Sunday night on "your" weekend - and you are being reasonable in pointing out that your work commitments have to be respected.

You may find this website useful

http://theparentconnection.org.uk/

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details