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I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
You do not need to communicate with anyone that you do not want too.
Its better that your children are not aware of any hostility between you and the father so you could give the lady a try. Its up to you, she is not there to pass Judgement or intervene but simply to pass on messages as a go between.
I note that you have already been utlising email. This is also an effective form of communication but clearly wont work if he doesnt respond to you. In the laterntive you could suggest someone else.
Mediation is worth an attempt to see if the lines of communication between you can improve. You can self refer to your local service. Just google family mediation in your area.
Positive feedback is gratefully received
Glad I could help.
Im signing off for today but could call you tomorrow if thats ok between 10am to 4pm.
There is an extra charge for a call.
I'll send you a request. You can accept and let me know the best time.
10am is fine. Please can you let me have a contact number for you.
Sorry I am running late with your call. I will be calling in approx 5 minutes.
I hope this is ok.