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Ask James Mather Your Own Question
James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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I took my ex to court because he would not let me see my

Customer Question

I took my ex to court because he would not let me see my kids after violently throwing me out of our house (which we own mortgage free), in front of the kids.The case lasted 4 sessions over one year, he was trying to prove me unfit (violent and mentally ill, I am neither). he had representation and I did not.The last court case was horrible and a list of people was drawn up, whom I am allowed to see while I have the kids (I only see them twice a week). These people are approved by him and if I want to add any further people I have to get his approval or go back to court. I can only take them on holiday IF I have one of these people on this list with me. The holiday entitlement is one week Christmas and Easter and two in the summer.Now this is in the past. I think that this is unreasonably controlling and I am surprised the judge allowed it. I know that coercive control is a crime now. In fact I finished the relationship because a. he is a drunk and b. he is too controlling.I am living in a large three bedroom house which I cannot afford and the plan was to take lodgers. With this court order, I cannot.What can I do? And before you ask. No reason was given for this order at all. I just agreed because I wanted to get the case over and done with. If I had dug my heels in, it would have gone to another session.
Submitted: 1 month ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 month ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

How old are the children and when was the order made?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
kids are 8,12,14 and 16
The order was made on 31st october.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 month ago.

Did the judge decide the matter or did you just agree it?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I just agreed it, to get the whole thing over and done with. The judge didn't decide an awful lot. He had a blazing row with my ex's abarrister and she still won!
My mum said that you could only be that angry with someone if you are sleeping with them. She was absolutely fascinated by this argument....
I ytied to get my ex to go BACK to alcoholics anonymous and the judge did not think that necessary. He decided that my ex is not an alcoholic.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 month ago.

But it was not the Judge that imposed the restrictions - you simply agreed them?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 month ago.

What did you think about the house then?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I felt so under pressure that day that I didn't think about it.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Don't understand the question to be honest
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
is this the end of the conversation here???
Expert:  Clare replied 1 month ago.

My apologies for the delay.

The problem that you face is that you agreed to this order - so legally you cannot appeal the Order at all.

It is also why the Order went through - because you agreed to it.

However - what was your mental health position at the time - were you receiving any treatment - for depression possible?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
No, I have never ever had a problem with my mental health. He is the one who did.
I thought the legal profession would not let get tied up in nots like this. It is hideously unfair. I was exhausterd and ground down by his bitterness.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I cannot take him back to court even for his controlling behaviour? he emailed me today and admitted (for the umpteenth time) to reading my emails. my Mum and I have a special email address that he cannot access. He is a complete controlling bastard, which is why I left him and why I still have concerns for my kids. I bought a house accross the road from him (my old home) and the kids are not allowed to come see me.