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Cher, Teacher
Category: General
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Experience:  Masters Level Educator,Tutor 35+ yrs.; Author, Senior Internet Researcher, Trivia Master
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daughter hacked into my facebook account

Customer Question

My daughter hacked into my facebook account and saw me talking in private to a friend about how my ex husband use get drunk and try to strangle me and my daughter was nasty too when drunk. She text me tring say all this I had told friend that had sent her emails and that I was two faced and I was harasing her and I turned up at her house and that she hated me. And that I told people she beat her brother up. Now shes blocked me on the phone and emails says never wants see me and she go Police if I call. I was upset cos she never invited me to her wedding just my ex husbands girlfriend. She was proud of that fact. Brought that up and I hate You .Recently my ex had a 60th party and she been with his girlfriend the weekend. Also she lied saying not going to Bulgaria this year but then find shes there next week with her Dad just them two. I had told a friend I be over there next week so think my ex husbands girlfriends thinking he going over with me. Shes secretive nasty and wont tell me anything about her Dad he had wanted see me but I suspect shes blocked my emails to him. We dint talk 20 months so can see this going on the same. I didn't know that he had his party till got text off my daughter saying at Dads 60th and we got him present....Don't know if it was nice or nasty cos she been with my ex and his girlfriend !! what do you do? I am certain she don't want me getting close to my ex again....The girlfriends posh house buys her nice clothes and perfume fed up shes 33 went over the top really like dealing with her at 15 nothings changed ! I have sent email saying it don't matter I love you and cos I said you were nasty please don't be !! she got caught didn't she been spying I would think and reporting it to her father who I still love dearly. Shes very cold don't open up and stalking and twisting every thing. I said I know you under a lot of pressure and need a break and what I said really she should not have been eavesdropping. Of course I was talking about her father as that's what you do to close friends and I was saying wonder if he got nasty with his girlfriend after getting very drunk ?..i am cross that shes lied and stalked and thrown nasty stuff at me for just saying the truth she gets totally wasted and aggressive when drunk.  Earlier in the day I had texted her saying was buying holiday gear and that I had booked surgery for I haven't  clue why she checked me out on facebook she probally been doing it before and it was only when fb let me know I had been hacked that she went and blocked shes never been one for talking on the phone all bloody text messages and I hate it...


She needed to know if I was going to Bulgaria I think that was the issue ?she is a clone of her father hes the same hides behind her and his sister and now his girlfriend..i really am the wicked witch I feel like going over to my holiday home its 10 mins from them. when growing up they were so close I was pushed out in fact not a healthy relationship I use to get jealous he never ever backed me up on anything at all they use just laugh at me hes probally confiding in my daughter and not his girlfriend because last time I spoke he was talking down about her too ..!!



Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hello, Philippa and welcome to Just answer.

I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this aggravation with your daughter. What she did re: hacking your facebook was really not right and an invasion of your privacy. It's a terrible feeling to realize she lied to you and of course, you have to be able to trust your own daughter.

The best thing for you to do at this time is to try to speak to her in person. If you invite her out for lunch or dinner or a coffee and speak to her about this hacking thing calmly, letting her know she broke some law by doing this (I believe--I'm not an attorney) and invaded your privacy, which upset you greatly, and make her promise to never do it again. Also, I hope at this time you've created a new FB account and changed your information and even your name. Let all your contacts know by email, what name you're using, so she can't hack you again.

It does sound like she needs to develop some more maturity and realize the result of her actions.

It's possible that she's doing/saying these things to you because she's upset that you and her father are no longer together, but as long as she understands that you both love her and she had nothing to do with your split; she's not a little kid anymore and should realize that. However, because she's a grown adult, she feels the need to get into your business and that's not acceptable.

When you speak with her, intersperse your talk with love, yet firmness, reminding her that you're still her mother and will always be so, and she needs to treat you with respect. At the same time, you need to treat her with respect, as well, but this hacking event will not be tolerated. Tell her that you're disappointed in her behavior and ask her why she did it. Ask her how she would feel if someone hacked her account and knew all her private business? Ask her to put herself in your place regarding how you feel now, with your privacy violated.

In addition to starting a new FB account, it might also be a good idea to open a new, additional email account (on a different server, if you can) and not let her know any information about it. Again, just let your friends and contacts you write to on a steady basis, know the new information, and she won't know the new account exists. She might try to hack into your current email account, so change your password XXXXX make sure it's secure.

It's important that you begin a 'new' type of relationship with your daughter so these things don't keep happening. It sounds, from your description, like there is a lot of tension and frustration in your family between you and your ex, you and your daughter, your daughter's relationship with her dad's girlfriend, etc., and that all has to be stopped. It's creating a very big problem for everyone, but especially you. Your relationship with your daughter is independent of your relationship with anyone else in the family. Help her to realize that too, and emphasize that you're not the 'enemy'; you're her mother and are on her side, always, and that's why this hacking incident hurt you so much. Give her a chance to apologize and take it from there.

I hope you will be speaking to your daughter again, soon and things will be much better in the future, after you have this talk with her.

Please let me know if you have any additional questions or concerns, by clicking "Reply" and I will be glad to continue our conversation.

If you found my answer helpful, it would be appreciated if you would kindly please Rate with Positive Feedback so I may be credited for my assistance. Thank you!

Best wishes,
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again, Philippa.

I'm just following up with you to see how everything is going with your daughter.

If you need any additional information or have further concerns, please don't hesitate to ask me by clicking on 'Reply to Expert', and I will answer as soon as possible.

I hope you found the information in my answer helpful. and if so, please let me know. Thank you!

I appreciate the opportunity to be of help to you and thank you for entrusting your question to Just Answer!

Best wishes,

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