Hello, Elaine and welcome to Just Answer.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX it will be my pleasure to help you in this difficult situation.
My apologies you did not receive an earlier answer. Different experts are online at various times and I recently logged in and read your question.
I know that deep down, you realize you shouldn't have been seeing him due to his circumstances (being married), but who are we to dictate who we fall in love with and who we want to be with? You knew he couldn't give you anything more, like marriage, being already 'taken', but you enjoyed being with him despite his faults, which you explained.
I think what you said was not without reason; you felt it, you meant it, you said it. Don't beat yourself up about that. You told the truth. You knew any forthcoming answers on his part couldn't be positive, because he can't be with you in the way you want, since he's already married.
I also think what you said took him totally by surprise and this may be why he hasn't responded. He is torn. He does have strong feelings for you, he wants to be with you more often, but his circumstances do not permit him to do this. He is hurting as you are hurting, but there is no logical answer to this dilemma, than for you to finish the relationship, as you originally wanted.
I think he will reply when he's ready and what you said in your email was honest, heartfelt and the only thing you could say, under the circumstances. The long phone call he had with his wife on that Friday and/or something she said to him earlier that day, seems to have interfered in some way, with your relationship. She might have given him an ultimatum or threatened him in some way, knowing that he was seeing you and/or going to hookers, as you mentioned. You said his demeanor changed on Friday and I think it's related to that. It's nothing you did.
The best thing for you to do at this time is to consider the relationship finished, take some time to 're-group' and then move on with your life. Start dating men who are available, emotionally and physically. No more married men and no more men with sex addictions or those who cannot be honest with you. Good communication and honesty are keys to successful relationships.
You are a very wise, highly educated, loving woman who deserves to find happiness with a man who is worthy of you. It's not selfish to put your own happiness above everything else right now, especially due to what you just went through with this man.
It won't be easy; it will be difficult to stop thinking about him and what you had with him, but convince yourself he was unavailable and you need to find a man who can give you all of himself, all of the time, not just in parts, part of the time. This will help you in grieving the end of this relationship, which, according to all indications, was meant to be. You said you wanted to end it and he convinced you otherwise. Listen to your own instincts; they are always right.
I wish you only love and happiness in the future!
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