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Cher
Cher, Teacher
Category: General
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Experience:  Masters Level Educator,Tutor 35+ yrs.; Author, Senior Internet Researcher, Trivia Master
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I dont know whether I should be in this relationship. I have

Resolved Question:

I don't know whether I should be in this relationship. I have been seeing this guy for 3 months after being introduced to him by a friend, but there seem to be unending problems between us as we are from completely different backgrounds and do not agree on things a lot of the time. What do I do? I try to have discussions about matters, but he listens yet doesn't understand or take on board what I say as he is so stuck in his ways. What do I do, as he is frustrating me? He means well, but he doesn't know or want to understand me?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.

Hello again, Symantha and welcome back to Just Answer.

From your description of the situation, it sounds like you are not happy in this relationship because you do not feel fulfilled and validated in what you have to say. If this guy is set in his ways and refuses to change or acknowledge/understand what you are trying to convey to him, it sounds like your personalities are in conflict and the relationship is not moving forward.

You want to be with a guy who will be on a similar wavelength as you and not 'always' agree with what you want to do (that would be boring), but at least listen and understand where you're coming from. This facet of a relationship is very important and if you want to find true happiness, you will need to be with a guy will be willing to change his ways in some areas to accommodate you and you should be willing to change your ways, as well, if warranted.

Since great communication is one of the most important keys to a successful relationship, if you don't have that now with this guy, it's probably a good time to move on.

My goal is to provide you with the best service possible. If you feel I have done so, a "positive/excellent rating" is greatly appreciated! If not, please let me know how I can better assist you by clicking "Reply" for additional information. Thank you!

Please do not rate negatively if you have additional questions or concerns; simply click 'Reply' and I will be glad to continue our conversation. Thank you!

Warmest wishes,
Cher






Customer: replied 3 years ago.

What do I do to communicate this to him without him telling everyone that I am having a go at him and that he can never do anything right??

Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again, Symantha and thanks for your reply.

You can tell him that you think he's a great person and you've enjoyed much of your time together, but because of the many conflicts which seem to be due to your different backgrounds and the fact that you seem unable to communicate as well as you should, it would be best for both of you to move on.

Pepper your comments, which may seem negative, with compliments about a few things you like about him or that he's good at, so you end the relationship on a positive note. Don't make him feel like he's getting 'dumped,' but choose your words carefully so he understands that it's the cultural differences between you which seems to be at the center of the difficulties. Just let him know that it's very important to communicate well in any relationship, and you think he'll agree that this is just not happening between the two of you, so it would be best if you parted ways.

I hope all works out well for you!

My goal is to provide you with the best service possible. If you feel I have done so, a "positive/excellent rating" is greatly appreciated! If not, please let me know how I can better assist you by clicking "Reply" for additional information and I will be glad to continue our conversation Thank you!

Warmest wishes,
Cher









Cher and 16 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again, Symantha and thanks very much for your excellent rating and most generous bonus; they are truly appreciated!

Warmest regards,
Cher

PS: no additional information is needed at this time, as the automated system will prompt; this is simply a 'thank you!' : )