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Michael
Michael, Librarian
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 3062
Experience:  20+ years of experience as a Research Librarian.
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How do I deal with my friend?

Resolved Question:

How do I deal with my friend?

She always seems to think that she knows better than me, and takes it upon myself to 'advise me', about matters concerning my job and my partner.  When I last argued my point, she then said that she thought I had mental issues, and I was schizo which I think is particularly rude!! I ended the conversation saying you can think what you like.

And how do I put it to her that I'm not interested in her dictating what I should be doing in my life. I have only known her for about 5 months, upon moving to Worcester, and want a friend and not a dictator or someone who interferes with what I do. My partner does not help with advice, as he just backs down.

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Michael replied 2 years ago.
Hello, thank you for using this service. I wish to introduce myself. I am Michael, a Research Librarian with 20+ years of experience.
We have all had friends who feel that they know best and that their advise should be taken as fact and to do what they feel is best. This "know-it-all" sounds particularly rude but I hope your relationship with this person can be repaired. I have gone ahead tonight to research ideas to try from quality published sources for ways to help.
Ways to calm this person down to become a loyal friend who will listen:
1. Find a time where you can talk to your friend privately. Make sure both you and your friend are in a relaxed and private place. Explain what's been bothering you in a polite and gentle manner. Be blunt but at the same time be sure you don't raise your voice or offend. Your friend may start to get angry so simply tell her you will discuss this later and walk away. Let your friend get back to you about talking further.
2. Much of what I am finding suggests to ignore what is being said. Accept what your friend offers in terms of good ideas, reject the bad ones, move ahead and do not be intimidated or annoyed by her. You will only suffer why your friend will continue unless you tell her to stop. It is felt by many that your friend has issues that she is dealing with and offering her point of view is a way to cope.
You may also wish to reconsider if this person adds to a healthy environment so best to consider taking a break from this person until things improve.
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