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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, PhD
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  I am a psychologist as well as an adjunct professor in psychology and a lecturer in adult spiritual life programs
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My relationship is at an end I have 3 children and do not know

Customer Question

My relationship is at an end I have 3 children and do not know how to move on.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 3 years ago.

Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.

First, let me say I can imagine how overwhelming and frustrating this situation must be for you. You describe your husband as a control freak. That you are left with nothing would be a common scenario with someone who is indeed a control freak. I don't know enough, and I certainly can't and am not diagnosing any disorder, but it certainly sounds as though he may be narcissistic-oriented. A person can truly feel that she is being used up in a relationship with a narcissistic-type person because they can use up your goodness. Why?

Because they mostly cannot access their own ability to give to others so they use up other people's desire to give and to give goodness. This is a common experience shared by people who try to maintain a relationship with a controlling, self-oriented person. They get burned and they are very hurt. And the problem is that you cannot win the battle for his acceptance, friendliness or even tolerance. Why?


Because controlling people who tend toward narcissistic behavior cannot access their own ability to give to others so they use up other people's desire to give and to give goodness. Therefore, I want you to focus on this aspect: getting yourself free INSIDE, emotionally, spiritually and in your thoughts from that relationship. I am going to recommend a wonderful book that is available online:



It is called: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life by ***** *****ez-Lewi.


There is no way to avoid the expense of attorneys, restraining orders, etc. with a controllingex. So please remember what I said at the beginning: you MUST have a long term view about this; you must consider yourself a survivor who has escaped. So please consider counseling for yourself to help you, support groups also.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, ***** *****

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 3 years ago.
Hi. I'm checking in to see if the reply was helpful or if you need more follow up. I would be very interested in hearing back from you on whether you thought my response was helpful or if we need to continue with further discussion. My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons.

Thanks,

Dr. Mark