Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.
First, let me say I can imagine how overwhelming and frustrating this situation must be for you. You describe your husband as a control freak. That you are left with nothing would be a common scenario with someone who is indeed a control freak. I don't know enough, and I certainly can't and am not diagnosing any disorder, but it certainly sounds as though he may be narcissistic-oriented. A person can truly feel that she is being used up in a relationship with a narcissistic-type person because they can use up your goodness. Why?
Because they mostly cannot access their own ability to give to others so they use up other people's desire to give and to give goodness. This is a common experience shared by people who try to maintain a relationship with a controlling, self-oriented person. They get burned and they are very hurt. And the problem is that you cannot win the battle for his acceptance, friendliness or even tolerance. Why?
Because controlling people who tend toward narcissistic behavior cannot access their own ability to give to others so they use up other people's desire to give and to give goodness. Therefore, I want you to focus on this aspect: getting yourself free INSIDE, emotionally, spiritually and in your thoughts from that relationship. I am going to recommend a wonderful book that is available online:
It is called: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life by ***** *****ez-Lewi.
There is no way to avoid the expense of attorneys, restraining orders, etc. with a controllingex. So please remember what I said at the beginning: you MUST have a long term view about this; you must consider yourself a survivor who has escaped. So please consider counseling for yourself to help you, support groups also.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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