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Michael
Michael, Librarian
Category: General
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Experience:  20+ years of experience as a Research Librarian.
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I just need some advice please. One of my bridesmaids has a

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hi, i just need some advice please. One of my bridesmaids has a 6 year old son and she is a single mom. The boy will be a page boy. Personally I don't really want a 6 year old boy sitting in the room the morning of the wedding while we are all getting ready, bridesmaids, me, my mom etc. I told her it would be ok of course for him to pop in and out but not be there the entire time. She was just planning on having him in the room on an Ipad or TV. I suggested she use the hotel babysitter for this time as she doesn't want to leave him in their hotel room on his own. I know my mother and my other bridesmaids would prefer if he was not there too (although did not say this to her), they dont know the boy at all. I suggested she bring her mom so she can mind the boy and she can enjoy the day a little more, she does not want to do this. She got terribly upset at me and said she was very offended, saying I should know she is a single mom and her son is not a monster and can be well behaved. She even wanted me to add him to the top table so that he was not sitting on his own. We have agreed that she will sit with him at another table as I do not think it is appropriate to have a 6 year old who is not a relative on the top table. I do not want to be a bridezilla but I also do not want a 6 year old around when we are getting ready. I feel she should realize that you cant have him in the room in the morning the whole time while we are getting hair/ make up etc. am i being unreasonable??
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Michael replied 1 year ago.

Congratulation first on your wedding and the big day that is coming up. Can understand how busy you must be getting prepared and being sure everything is just right for you and your guests to enjoy.

Without a doubt you are not a bridezilla after reading what you have stated on the busy events that will be going on that day. So much will need to be done that morning as having all the bridesmaids getting ready as well as any last minute things that need to be addressed. Having this little boy in the room can make some uncomfortable as well as can cause needs to be addressed (bathroom visits for example). The mom it seems is taking control of the situation without taking in the wishes of the bride to be. I am sure the child is well behaved but with such important things going on that morning that having him in the room is not the right thing to have.

My thought would be to see if a babysitter can be used from the hotel and possibly pay for this as while it is an extra cost, the price of having him taken care of properly would put things at ease. Being a single mom, she might not have the money to pay for this so consider it a cost worth the money.

A six year old should also be sitting at a table with his mom as well as no need to have him sit at the head table as he is not a relative. The bride and groom make up the seating chart and your wishes are first and foremost important. Not going to make everyone happy at an event such as this but you are correct that he should sit with mom at a table not reserved for relatives.

Go ahead and hold your ground and speak privately with the mom and explain what a busy day it will be and that her son will be taken care of properly with the babysitter. Offering to pay for it can help in making her understand.

Please let me know of any other questions or concerns you may have on this topic. If you could take a moment to rate my assistance so that I can receive credit for assisting you as well as allow me to help others on our site.

Best to you on your big day.

Michael

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