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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 31300
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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A CARE HOME WHERE I VISIT MY DAUGHTER'S MUM, WENDY, WTH OUR DAUGHTER AMY SAY THEY FIND ME DIFFICULT, & I CAUSE TENSIONS WITH SOME STAFF. THEY ALSO BIZARRELY CLAIM I AM A THREAT, AND INTIMIDATING TO VULNERABLE RESIDENTS AND THEIR VISITING RELATIVES. I ALWAYS FELT I WAS ON REASONABLE TERMS WITH MOST STAFF, AND ALL RESIDENTS AND FAMILIES. OFF THE RECORD DISCUSSIONS WITH THE LATTER INDICATE THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS IN REALITY, AND SOME WERE QUITE SHOCKED TO HEAR THIS BASELESS ACCUSATION. THEY ARE SCARED OF SAYING ANYTHING PUBLICLY AND I WOULD NOT EXPECT THEM TO. BUT I COMPLAINED ABOUT A NURSE AFTER SHE UPSET OUR DAUGHTER. I HAVE JUST RECEIVED ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF MY COMPLAINT. THE NURSE REFUSED TO LET OUR 17 AND A HALF YEAR OLD DAUGHTER KNOW SOME BASIC CARE INFO (IN THIS CASE MY DAUGHTER WONDERED HOW MANY TIMES A DOCTOR HAD SEEN HER MUM RECENTLY AFTER BEING CONCERNED ABOUT HER WELFARE). THE NURSE TOLD HER SHE WAS NOT THE NEXT OF KIN AND SHE WOULD ONLY TELL THE BROTHER WHO DECLARED HIMSELF NEXT OF KIN. WE DO NOT GET ON WITH HIM AND HE NEVEVR VISTS HIS SISTER WENDY, WHICH MAKES US EVEN MORE CONCERNED WHY THEY ONLY CONSULT HIM AND GIVE HIM ANY INFO. THE NURSE SAID THEY ONLY SHARE INFORMATION WITH THE NEXT OF KIN WHO IS THE BROTHER. I HAVE BEEN IN CONFLICT WITH THEM OVER THE CESSATION OF PHYSIO AND ACTIVITIES AND OUTINGS FOR WENDY. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DID THIS. I TRIED TO ENTER INTO DISCUSSIONS BUT THEY WERE RIGID. WE FEEL WENDY HAS DECLINED. THEY THEN RESTRICTED MY VISITING HOURS AND CALLED THE POLICE WHEN I QUESTIONED WHY WENDY WAS NOT ALLOWED TO VISIT US AT HOME FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. AT OUR DAUGHTERS REQUEST. LOGISTICS WAS NOT A PROBLEM. I FEEL THE CARE HOME MANAGER SHOUTED AT ME OUTSIDE WENDY'S ROOM, THEREFORE UPSETING WENDY, WHO IS SEVERELY BRAIN DAMAGED. NO ACTION WAS TAKEN AGAINST ME BY BY THE POLICE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS HUMILIATING AND INNAPROPRIATE. I TOLD THE POLICEMAN I WOULD CONTINUE TO ASK VALID QUESTIONS ABOUT WENDY'S CARE.

THEY THEN RESTRICTED MY VISITING HOURS AS THEY SAID I WAS AGITATING WENDY.
MY DAUGHTER SAYS SHE OBSERVES THAT I CALM HER DOWN. BEFORE THE CONFLICT A WRITTEN REPORT STATES I WAS NOTHING BUT A POSITIVE FACTOR FOR HER MUM, WENDY. SO, WE WERE VERY DUBIOUS. THEY REFUSED TO ENGAGE IN DISCUSSIONS.

NOW SUDDENLY I RECEIVED A LETTER ACCUSING ME OF MORE INTIMIDATING AND THREATENING BEHAVIOUR. ALL I DID WAS WRITE OUT A FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST THE NURSE AND ASK FOR HER SURNAME.

THEN THE LETTER INVITED ME AND MY DAUGHTER TO A MEETING TO MOVE FORWARDS. IT CONTAINED A HUGE THREAT HOWEVER. IT SAID IF I DID NOT MODIFY MY BEHAVIOUR I WOULD BE BANNED FROM VISITING. OR, THEY WOULD MOVE HER MUM TO ANOTHER HOME OUTSIDE THE COUNTY WE LIVE IN WHICH IS NORFOLK.

THE LETTER DISTRESSED MY DAUGHTER WHO HAS BECOME VERY WORRIED ABOUT WHAT WILL NOW HAPPEN. I TOLD THEM THIS, AND THEY REPLIED AS FOLLOWS - I AM AWARE THE FIRST SENTENCE IS NOT GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT. HERE IS THIER REPLY.
IT MAKES A TOKEN REFERENCE TO THE DISTRESS THEIR LETTER CAUSED OUR DAUGHTER, AND THEN IN MY OPINION PUTS AWFUL PRESSURE ON ME, AND HER TO ATTEND A MEETING QUICKLY. IF I DON'T THEY WILL IMPOSE A TEMPORARY BAN ON ME VISITING. THIS WOULD UPSET OUR DAUGHTER EVEN FURTHER AND WOULD MEAN WENDY WOULD LOSE HER ONLY REGULAR VISITOR, AND BECOME INSTITUTIONALISED IN MY OPINON.

"We do apologise for any distress this may have caused your daughter Amy, however it is understood that a number of staff at the Grove remain anxious and distressed by your behaviour and the affect it has on their ability to care for Ms. Knighton. It is hoped that by discussing the issues together, and involving Amy, and will make every effort to allay any distress for her and agree a more productive way forward for all concerned, and in particular Ms. Knighton.

As mentioned within the letter if the date offered is not convenient to you then please offer your availability for when this meeting could take place. Sadly The Grove are anxious to agree a better way forward as they currently feel your relationship with them is untenable. If your behaviour at the Grove continues to create tension and difficulties for staff, a long delay in this meeting may result in them issuing a temporary ban on your attendance until further talks with you can be held.

You mention “investigations” are underway which we assume is the independent Social Work assessment requested by your solicitor, this assessment will most likely be supported to take place once your solicitor has provided clarity of its purpose and how the information provided will be used (it must be clear that confidentiality is maintained relating to any of Ms Knighton's information that is shared with any third party).

It is hoped that you will agree to meet with the representatives from the three organisations at the first available opportunity in order to try to resolve the issues identified."

CAN THEY BAN ME WITH SUCH FLIMSY EVIDENCE? DENY DAUGHTER INFO?
WHO IS NEXT OF KIN?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Ben Jones replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thank you for your question, which I will be happy to assist you with. Please let me know of you have formally complained using their formal complaints procedure?

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