Child is 5 (6 in August). Social services have me as the responsible adult and for the past 18 mths I have had to put childminding in place for after school, and anytime I go to do anything. I've had to work flexible hours so I can leave my daughter to school and work at home at night to catch up etc.
House is worth about 90k with outstanding debt of 70k. She has lost her job and is now on the middle rate DLA for depression. I earn 28k.
My wife has been taken into care 3 time in the past 18mths once for detox and twice for both detox and her own safety after self harming or threatening to kill herself.
I have always paid the mortgage and my wife paid the electricity and rates all other bills are split.
I had to remortgage about 5 years ago to take out 30k to cover personal debts that were not related to my wife.
In the marital home about 12 years, lived together for another 2 years before that.
Not violent, just constant verbal/metal abuse and hassle e.g. when I get a childminder to mind my daughter when going out etc.
I hadn't really though about starting divorce proceedings straight away but I certainly wouldn't rule out if it was the best option. I was thinking to renting somewhere for me and my daughter first and then taking it from there.
I could maybe pay a small share of the mortgage but don't think she would be able to keep the house for long on her own. I know she has quite a bit in savings so financially she could prob keep the paying the mortgage for a year or so maybe but mentally/physically not sure if she would be able to keep living on her own.
My wife refuses to go to mediation. The problem I have is that I cannot have a reasonable conversation with her. Once I raise this issue she will get angry start shouting around the house in front of my daughter and and within a day or two will self harm or take an overdose. This is what has happened in the past when I tried to talk about separating.
How long would divorce proceedings take until she would have to move out and also roughly how much this would cost me?
Yeah, that's what happened before, but only for a week to 10 days and then sent home again.