I want to divorce him now I actually know where he is and do not think he is entitled to half of the house as he did not pay anything towards it and also I do not have the finance to settle with him and am not ready to see the house
But he is divorcing you it seems, or have I missed something?
Do you want to cross petition? Why?
Do you have children?
How long together and married?
What advantage to me would it be if I let him divorce me?
There were children at the time he walked out and he never supplied any maintenance
We were married in 1985
I want to cross petition and cite him on all the things I put in my first response I do not think he should be able to claim half the house which he has never once paid anything towards. I have paid mortgage, council tax ultility bills everything and it has been a struggle I have had to work many long hours to be able to afford to do so
I assume that the children are now 18 or over
I must suggest that you do not cross petition. Courts donot like it as it is a waste of their time and is unnecessary in this day andage. You could well be criticised by the judge.
Unfortunately, your husband got in first . You werealways at liberty to find him and issue a petition against him.
Generally, the respondent (you at present) pays the costof the actual divorce itself but you could agree not to cross petition ofdefend it (no point after seperation for so long) if he doesn't ask the courtfor costs against you.
Regarding the division of the marital assets. It doesn'tmatter whether he divorces you or you divorce him or what the reason is. Thefinancial split is exactly the same.
It also doesn't matter that you are not ready to sell thehouse because, unless you can pay him off the house must be sold because he isentitled to something from it.
You ere always entitled to pursue him for child and spousemaintenance. CSA would have found him if he was working
Therein lies the problem deciding exactly what he isentitled to. You had the benefit of living in the property in the last 10years, would you have no doubt you did towards capital repayment, without him.You would be responsible for its bills.
You need to revisit the situation 10 years ago.
What does he earn and what do you earn?
What does he want?
None of that seems fair when he paid nothing, treated everybody in the house like shit and then disappeared, how could I have got there 1st as you put it when I did not know where he was. I may have had the benefit as you also put it of living in the house but I also had to pay for it as I had done before he left. He is not working he has never worked just scrounged... his whole life I really want to take him to court and cite him for extreme mental and physical cruelty and lack of payment to the martial home whilst he was in it and surely it can not be right for someone to walk out leave all their responsiblilties then 10 years later demand compensation from the place he walked out on. If that it the law then it is wrong. I have struggled all my working live since being in that house to provide a home for my children whilst he did nothing and paid nothing
You were always at liberty to try to find him and tracingagency is able to find anyone who has not deliberately gone into hiding, forunder £100. I instructed one only this morning on a completely differentmatter.
I am afraid it is conduct before he left is immaterial.
Whilst he may have kept you short of money and that maybe grounds for unreasonable behaviour in a divorce and married spouse cannottake action against a husband merely because he takes her short of money. Inorder to bring such action, it has to be done as part of divorce proceedings.
The fact remains that it was the marital home in (itseems 18 years), and he is entitled to some of it, although it seems unlikelythat he will get 50%, but a smaller percentage. He will not be eligible forlegal aid (nor will you) as it disappears in April for everything apart fromchild abduction and physical violence issues, so unless he has some money tofund the legal costs, you are in a better position to call the shots.
I would suggest that you saw a family Solicitor who cantake detailed instructions and advise you in depth and perhaps send a minimaloffer to your husband.
The problem comes if he thinks that he is entitled to50%, and wants to nail his flag to the mass in that respect.
You might want to suggest family mediation http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/find-service.php
Althoughit is quicker and less confrontational than court it isnt necessarily cheaperif disagreements ensue