You will not be able to avoid him seeing the child
and if you refuse point-blank, you will end up in court. You would always be
better offering some contact. You should try to resolve using family medaition.
it is quicker and less confrontational than court it isnt necessarily cheaper
If this fails then you can apply to the court for a
defined contact order which will formalise arrangements.
The necessary forms are available on the here
Many mothers do simply withdraw contact (not recommended by me) in order to
force the father into action. If you do that, he is then faced with spending
money on solicitors and court as he will not get legal aid.
I also cannot advise you to threaten that although, many mothers do just
What you can do is tell him that unless he toes the line and becomes more
reliable, you will make an application to court to reduce contact to the
minimum that the court thinks acceptable. What you can also do is tell him that
if he turns up to collect the child and he is late, you will not be in.
Eventually, he will get the message.
That way, you are not withholding contact you are simply getting on with
With regard to holidays, Christmas, et cetera the court is likely to award
every other Christmas and every other holiday or suchlike.
Can I help further with regard to the above, because obviously, as you
appreciate, there is no magic solution.
The effect of its unreliability on your daughter would have to have to be
clear-cut and you would need evidence in that respect before a court would even
consider withdrawing contact. It is most unlikely that would happen.
With regard to CSA: if his lifestyle is not consistent with his alleged
income, they are able to investigate it in depth, but I would not hold my
breath because they do tend to run after targets which don't move very quickly
and those which are easier to extract money from.
A friend of mine has children and their father has never paid a bean to the
mother in respect of their welfare or upkeep. His father died recently and left
him substantial assets, but because he has no "income" and all his inherited
wealth is offshore they have done very little. He is a member of the most
expensive golf club in the area, he is in a flying club and owns an aeroplane. She
has provided all those details and photographs and a list of his various
memberships, and still she has no money from him. I mention that merely to
illustrate that although the CSA can investigate such matters, you would grow
Can I help further?
Please bear with me today and over any weekends because
I will be online and off-line.
Please don't forget to positively rate my answer service (even if it was not
what you wanted to hear) and I will follow up any further points you raise for
If you don't rate it positively, then the site keep your deposit and I get 0
for my time. It is imperative that you give my answer a positive rating. It
doesn't give me "a pat on the head", "good boy" (like ebay), it is my
If in ratings you feel that you expected more or it only helped a little,
please ask me for further info before rating me negatively otherwise I don't
get paid at all for my time and answer.
The thread remains open for us to continue this exchange
I am afraid that this is not an instant service
because we all have clients and court and all users and travelling and evenings
and weekends, so sometimes you will get a response in minutes and sometimes it
may be hours.