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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 31300
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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My ex took me to court a year ago for access, even though he

Customer Question

my ex took me to court a year ago for access, even though he was seeing our boys every other weekend and a Wednesday he felt the need to do this as it would make it official as a court order?? I didnt go to court to argue with him I represented myself because I wanted him to see the boys I wasnt goin there to say he couldn't see them, we arranged dates like he could have them half holidays and xmas eve etc and he has done since.
Once the court order was in place he didnt once pick them up from school on a wednesday like agreed as he had started a new job which was not a problem I was quite flexible and said no problem and I worked alternative childcare as I was working.
He has now decided that he is taking me back to court for joint custody as I work, even though he has been working he has decided to give up his job as he thinks this will strengthen his case, me however does not as the only way he would be in a position to be financially responsible for them is through benefits that he recieves.
I work 9-5 and find it very hard to make an appointment with a solicitor and just need some concrete advice. He thinks he will gain joint custody through the week just because I work but I cannot see the courts seeing me as working a bad thing?
He does not realise that the boys are getting older and we as parents need to let them do what they want to on weekends, when I finish work I am on the roads with them taking them here and there with their after school clubs and on weekends they are both quite busy . Daniel is 10 and is wanting to do more and more with his friends but his father sees it as I am punishing him not making Daniel cancel his plans and just see his Dad. That doesn't happen on my weekends. His father needs to cherish the time he spends with them as I do as it doesnt last forever and he sees the only way he can do that is by taking me back to court?? The system is all wrong in my advice, please advise me?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Stuart J replied 4 years ago.
Do you have a specific question?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

i dont have a specific answer just knowledge on the subject please

Expert:  Stuart J replied 4 years ago.

I need to know what the problem is, what you want to achieve or what you
would like to know about this.

You haven't actually asked a question

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I need to know if this is possible, if he goes to court how likely will it be that they grant him joint custody when he has gone out of his way to give up his job so he can be there for them mon-fri even though they are in school and I get home from work at 5. As their mother do I not get any say in this?

Expert:  Stuart J replied 4 years ago.

I am going to refer this to a colleague who is better placed to answer this
for you. Sit tight.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

how long is this goin to take

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
How old are the children and how many nights have they bees staying with their father in the average month?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
They go over there every other weekend and a Wednesday evening after school which seemed acceptable when we went to court last, they said they wouldn't agree to every weekend as I work full time. The boys are 7 & 10
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
So from two nights a fortnight with him he now want to move to what pattern exactly?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I think he wants them mon- Friday but not sure as he says he needs to seek advice from his solicitor. The boys are in school we live 20 mins away from each other it would just disrupt their whole routine. I am not awilling for this to happen and ti be honest cannot c where this has all come from. My oldest is 10 and only now he feels the need to do this. I know the courts don't see maintenance as a right to access but I have never receieved a penny from him and hav accepted this but if he wants joint custody but isn't working, it's different having them three nights every two weeks to paying for them every week, which would include him paying for things like dinner money, trips uniform, which is nothing he never has before, thank you