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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33017
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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as g.parents we went into joint house renovation project with

Customer Question

as g.parents we went into joint house renovation project with soninlaw in 04/05 where he purchased items for build/collected etc for around 6months.
he also paid deposit for the auction property of £12,500 which has been repaid tohim since.
we have the receipts for item ordered/delivered but believe he used a credit card to buy these and has not actually paid for them.
we asked for bank statements for this as advised by accountant but to date he has provded none.
we look after 1 of three g.child aged 2 of 3 children alternately with another 10 mnths older and swap every 3-4 days and also the elder child of 9yrs on a regular basis and have done so since they were born with no days missed and love doing so. the kids are thriving and happy in this situation.
my daughter often struggles to cope and s.s's have previously been involved briefly.
our son in law continues to ask for some £20,000 which he says we owe him for project purcheses and we remind him we need bank statements and will happily pay this.
none forthcoming still.
my main concern is that he is now telling the 9yr old that we owe him thousands of £'s and i have responded by saying that there is more to this that and i will talk to her about it when she's older, she seems satisfied with this but i am afraid that it is affecting her and she is becoming somewhat distant than usual and must be confusing her.
i can't explain all to her at her age it would be wrong and unfair.
what can u advise please?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question I shall do my best to assist you but need some further information first.
There are two points I am uncertain about.
Do you accept that the goods were purchased and if they were do you accept that you should pay for them?
What information are you looking for with regard to the children?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i accept goods were purchased as i have receipts and goods but not that they were paid for.

i was advised by accountant to request bank/card statements from him but he has never provided them from the beginning, he now says he hasn't got them now after all this time.

do you know if it is possible to obtain copy statements from 2004/5 from the bank?

i accept i would be happy to pay for these items shown on receipts if he will show me the bank statements.

i fear he has used a credit card to purchase them but has not then paid the card company/s. why else would he not want to provide this evidence?


can i stop him from saying that we owe him this money to the 9yr old as it is not proven and this is surely damaging to her and to our relationship with her. i feel that he is doing this to try to make us pay him the money he wants.




Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Are you concerned that the items were stolen and the receipts were forged
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

no all purchased and receipts genuine but he will not show bank/card statements to prove that he has actually paid for them.

anyone can go to a shop with a card and purchase items but that does not mean that they have paid the card company, therefore they have not paid for those items.

i believe he has dodged from 1 card company to another and another and/or has settled his debt with them for ? ammount or runnaway from the debt and they have been unable to find him.

is it correct that after 6yrs they cannot do anything about it?

these are amongst several of the grey stories he has vaguely banded about.


re. child is there anything i can do to stop him using her to try to pressure us into paying him money?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Unfortunately there is no legal action that you can take to prevent your son in law saying what he likes to his child.
You could try and discuss the matter with him and your daughter using Family Mediation to point out how distressing it is for the child to be drawn into the debate between the adults in her life but that is the only step that you an take.
I have to say however that if your son in law was suing you for this money the court would say that since you accepted that the items had been acquired at the price shown on the receipt then you owed him the money - how he paid for them is his personal business
I appreciate that this is not the news that you wished to hear - but sadly it is the legal position that you are in
Please ask if you need further clarification

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