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Jo C.
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My ex partner has accused me of harassment, i have been questioned

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My ex partner has accused me of harassment, i have been questioned by the police. i have been questioned under caution and didnt ask for my phone
i have made many calls to her as i speak to my daughter every day. she has twisted the situation by taking my daughters phone away and then not answering her mobile when i ring to speak to my daughter at the agreed time. she doesn't answer so there are missed calls on her phone. but she claiming i harassed her over one weekend.
i dont call all the time just when i usually speak to my daughter. also i texted her saying that i would meet my daughter after church and speak to her then if i couldnt speak to her on the phone.
my intention is just to speak to my daughter not to cause any distress to my ex.
there is no history of violence just jealousy over my daughter, as she wants to live with me.
how long do the police take to review the evidence? when would i know if they plan to charge me?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Stuart J replied 1 year ago.

 

Hello, I am Law
Denning and I am a practising solicitor in a High Street practice. I have been
an expert on this website in UK law since 2008. During that time, as you
appreciate, I have answered thousands of questions from satisfied users on a
variety of subjects.



Because
we are all in practice with clients and court and other users, I might not always respond in minutes,
particularly evenings and weekends. Please bear with me in that case



It is my pleasure to try and assist you with this today. Please bear with me
while I gather some further information from you in order for me to be able to
advise you fully.

 

How many phone calls over how long?

How many times did you speak in those calls?

To the ex?

To yr daughter?

Texts? How many in and how many out? Do you have them all?

When were you questioned?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

there is a bit of a story behind this.firstly my ex doesnt talk to me so the only way i can pass any info onto her is by text. nothing rude or offensive.


 


but last month my daughter went with the school to Ireland my ex gave me the wrong number. so i texted once asking her to send me the right number. she didnt so i left it till monday then around 7.30pm i called to speak to her. after 12 call that just went to voicemail she answered and i spoke to my daughter.


on the tuesday i called 6 times(each time going to voicemail) and 4 times wednesday and thursday all the same. friday i still hadnt spoken to her and didnt know when i was meant to pick my daughter up from as the location changes also i had bought tickets for the superman movie for saturday night. i rang 14 times in just over one hour trying to speak to my daughter. the last time i rang i finally spoke to her. my daughter told me she had altar service and we would miss the movie. i asked to skeak to my ex but she hung up. i did text explaining that i tickets and it was not emilys time to do altar service, but next week was. since she wouldnt answer i did text saying i would pick my daughter up after her drama class and if that was a problem to let me know. no text so i went to pick her up i did try to speak to my ex to confirm but she didnt answer.


6 calls over 5 hours no answer. she was not happy that i picked emily up there, but did let my daughter come with me. i did video tape this as i thought she might try something. my daughter went back to her mums that tuesday morning. that evening i called 6 times over two hours before she answered. wednesday i called 8 times no answer. thursday 4 times no answer. the friday i sent her a text saying if i cant speak to her on the phone i would see my daughter that night on the sponsored walk and talk to her then. 5 calls over two hours spoke to her the last time. then on saturday 4 times between 3pm and 6pm. i also texted asking if i could speak to my daughter before church that day, or could i take her out for an hour after church. she texted me back call after 8pm. i texted her back saying i didnt believe her and could i speak to emily before. i then called twice to speak to my ex. no answer. so i call at 8pm to speak to my daughter, no answer i called 17 times and no answer between 8pm and 10pm. when she finally called me to let me speak to emily. then on sunday 17 times over 3 hours no answer. then on monday she spoke to the police, i got the message tuesday evening from the police. but on the tuesday morning i texted my ex that there were bruises on emily's arm from when she was grabbing emily's arm so hard a week earlier. she texted back, i replied and she then texted back. some 15 texts to me that day. i did reply to them.


i have all the texts and have given the texts and the call logs to the police.


i hope this answers you questions, but i never speak to my ex on the phone unless she rings me.


she claims that i threaten her, even though i had her arrested for attacking me 7 years ago, the police know this but i never pressed charges. (i wanted to be able to see my daughter and didnt think it was the thing to do). the police seem only interested in the last weekend as thats when i texted. also i was on the phone just yesterday and she rung me 6 times in 15min just to find out if i had dropped emily off. she could have rung the school if she was scared of me. i took a screen shot of my phone.


but she will also ring my phone 10, 15 times to speak to emily when she is with me.sometimes within 20 min of me picking her up.


i should also mention she always keeps her phone on silent.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

sorry, it was two weeks ago tomorrow. when i spoke to the police. i should also mention that my daughter told her she wanted to live with me. my daughter spends 3 nights a week with me. this hasn't changed


thank you for getting back to me

Expert:  Stuart J replied 1 year ago.




I am going to opt out of this for another
expert. The thread will now open to all experts. There is no need for you to do
anything and please don't not reply otherwise it comes back into my inbox.
Another expert, with the suitable expertise, will be along shortly.



Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
HI.

Thank you for your question . My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try to help with this.

I have been asked to look at this as I'm a criminal specialist.

Can we try to narrow this down a bit so that we can identify whats relevant.

Have you been calling your daughter or your ex?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i call my daughter on my ex partners phone. usally when i call my daughter answers.(with my ex partners permission). if my ex partner answers i just ask to speak to my daughter. this has been the arrangement for 7 years.


i have bought my daughter her own phone but my partner would hide it and this would stress out my daughter.


i also bought her a laptop so we could Skype, my ex partner stopped that too. When my daughter is with me ann calls my phone and i let emily answer.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry but that is likely to amount to harassment.

I do realise she is manipulating the situation but the solution to that is to go to the family court and get a contact order rather than play isn't her hands by continually phoning her.

You can try to defend on the basis that this is what you have always done. The harassment legislation does demand that the crown prove that the reasonable person would consider your conduct harassing. The problem here is that you would almost certainly be charged with s2 harassment and that is summary not so you would be tried by magistrates who do not always acquit people who should be acquitted especially with stupid politically driven offences like this domestic nonsense.

Probably the police will only offer a caution anyway. Its rather surprising they bothered to interview you at all instead of just giving you a harassment warning.

They are probably getting cps advice. If you are n police bail then there should be a bail date set down for you to attend again to be charged, rebailed or NFAed.

Can I clarify anything for you?

Jo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thank you for your honest answer, but i never spoke to her or wanted to speak to her


i have always called my daughter on a daily bases and always in the evening. nothing had changed, she has never told me not to ring or text,


i dont want to admit to something i didn't do. i am going through family court and this is her way of getting legal aid. so i think she will try to get an injunction against me. can she do this

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, she probably will get an injunction unfortunately.

I realise that you say you were trying to speak to your daughter but you were calling her phone and there's no way around that. A court may well accept that you trying to make contact with her.

That doesn't mean you can't see your daughter though.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thank you again, you can imagine my distress


the fact that i have 2 years of phone records proving that i call every day when my daughter is there and not when she is with me.


i haven't been charged just questioned under caution, should i go see a criminal solicitor as i will not except a caution.


 

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, you can.

They may not get legal aid at this stage although I suppose if there is a bail back then they might.

For future reference, we never refuse solicitors in police interview.

I do realise that she is manipulating the situation, wasting public money on this nonsense and abusing the police and probably the police officers realise they are having their time wasted too. That doesn't mean they will not act though. Unfortunately the days when the police could refuse to act have gone.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

sorry one last thing,


you say that i have rung her phone, but my daughter is 9yrs old. i had my ex partners permission and she never indicated to me otherwise.


 

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, but you accept calling her many times when she was not responding. That is harassment I'm afraid.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
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Experience: Over 5 years in practice
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