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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33314
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I am currently going through a divorce a Decree Nisi has been

Customer Question

I am currently going through a divorce a Decree Nisi has been issued and the six weeks are over but I have to apply for the Decree Absolute. We have written up a statement of care specifying when the children will stay over at their Fathers. However during this time the children had spent nights at the new girlfriends house. The new girlfriend has been following myself and my two year old daughter around to all the toddler groups I have been attending, she has a ten month old daughter, as well as hanging around the school gates when I have to collect my 7 year old son, she has no other children other than the 10 month old, so there is no reason for this. I have found this very upsetting, as she was the reason I filed for divorce, however I have never given her eye contact or even spoken to her, as I am assuming that she is doing this for a reaction. On 14th of June I left the toddler group I was at, as I couldn't bear it any longer, I didn't utter a word, or even give eye contact as usual, I have many friends who would willing witness my behaviour. She knew it was my birthday on 18th June as my Husband got presents for me from the children. On 18th June the police came to my house looking for me(I was having a very rare meal out for my birthday) as I had been reported for threatening behaviour by the girlfriend supposedly at the toddler group on the 14th June! I then wrote a police statement explaining that I had been falsely accused.I stopped going to all of the groups I attended, and resigned from the group I lead, and have now also changed my son's school. My husband was also shocked by her behaviour at the time and agreed to all the changes, as well as my request that the children had no further contact with her. He has now decided that I have no right to do this & I am extremely concerned for their welfare as non of her behaviour seems rational, but vindictive and premeditated. He says he can have whoever he likes being with the children. I have asked that they stay at his over night as per our parental agreement & have requested that the children are not to be left unattended with her. Please help as I don't know my legal rights if any.

Regard
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
Hi.

Thank you for your question. My name is Jo and I will try to help with this.

Are you asking about the police matter or your divorce?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


I am asking what my rights are as a parent to request that they don't stay at the girlfriends house overnight, as I am concerned for their welfare & were I stand if I don't want them to have any contact. What should I do?


 

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
My colleague has asked me to look at this for you.
Has she ever done or said anything untoward to the children?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

As I stated she went to the police and falsely accused me of threatening behaviour, after stalking me around for months and getting no reaction what so ever, I think that could be viewed as untoward in my case. I have never spoken with her in my life, so she hasn't had the chance to say anything to me directly. As far as I am aware she hasn't said or done anything untoward to them.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I agree that that certainly represents a threat to you - but has she ever done or said anything to raise concern about her approach to the children?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No, the children haven't told me much about her behaviour around them. Is my husband entitled to stay with them anywhere he likes regardless of our parental agreement & my requests then? Is he entitled to let them be in anyone's company he chose's, even if they have been untoward to their mother? My son was very upset & thought I was going to be arrested!

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Both you and your husband have Parental Responsibility for the Children - so when they are with him it is indeed his choice who they have contact with and what they do - provided he does not place THEM at any risk.
Whilst I fully understand your concerns about her behaviour towards you I am afraid that this would not be enough to convince a Court that restrictions should be placed upon your ex's contact with the children and where he can take them
However it would be reasonable for you to ask your ex to discuss your concerns with you using Family Mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
You may also find some useful information here
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/#
I am sorry that this was not the news that you wanted - but do please ask if you need further details
Claire

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