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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33310
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I had a bad argument with my husband yesterday. He said he

Customer Question

I had a bad argument with my husband yesterday. He said he wanted rid of me, called me a fishwife, said I hadn't many friends because I was so nasty and said a lot more, talking over me the whole time and not listening to what I had to say(this is a usual thing with him when we argue). He said he was going to change the locks, went up close into my face and stuck up his two fingers in front of my face. He said as from yesterday I was no longer his wife. He rowed with me over something very simple and then we both ended up saying nasty things to each other. He said either I moved out or he would go to his solicitor and get a letter asking me to move out. He has got solicitors letters for me before asking me to move out and I have usually stayed with family. He then asks me back again and I move back in. I have usually only stayed away for over a week at most. I feel he is messing me about and he knows I have got a few days off work because I kept getting chest pains and yet he insists that I move out. My Mum is very ill and only got home yesterday from hospital as she has cancer which is incurable and in the final stages. She had a stroke as well after an operation not so long ago and is bed bound now probably for the rest of her life. He knew I wanted to go up and see her yesterday and asked me sit down and relax. We then had the row later and I walked out and went up to my Mums anyway. I haven't told my family because I have been though this so many times before with him and I am worried they will get stressed and angry. I could hardly sleep last night as I fell quite angry myself but am calmer today. My husband has said he wont give me any money to help me get a private rental. He knows I am presently trying to buy a house as an investment as he owns the house we both live in and I feel like I have nothing. Also I thought I would have a house incase he asked me to leave again with a solicitors letter which he is threatening to do again and to change the locks. I know I said some nasty things to him but he has done the same to me over the last six years and sometimes I don't think I deserved it.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the property worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
How long have to lived together and are there any children involved?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


My husbands house is worth £120,000 at least and he has paid all of the mortgage off when he got a redundancy package three years ago. We have no children together but he has three grown up children all over 25 who don't live with us.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.


He is making me feel like a stalker in my own home and he has told me I am not welcome here. I feel scared when he comes home incase he starts shouting at me again that I am to get out of the house and starts being verbally abusive again. His comments are very personal and I feel personally attacked by him which has happened several times in our marriage. I am afraid he will throw my belongings out or change the locks or force me to leave with his aggression, verbal abuse and raising his voice/shouting which he denies doing.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
It is not "his house" it is the Matrimonial Home and you are entitled to live there as long as you are married - and you are also entitled to 50% of the equity at least.
If he threatens you then you should report the matter to the police and you may also be entitled to an order excluding HIM from the property
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


My husband owned the house for about 10 years before I met him and he has always paid the mortgage and rates. I have only paid half of all other bills. This is why he sees it as his house and not my home I think. Also what is the equity? Also he has had his will changed so that his three children will inherit the house nbetween them and I will get a lump sum payment of £30,000 he says. I think now his children may see the house as theirs maybe too and that I shouldn't be living in it? They haven't said that buy one of his children is in recovery from heroine addiction and she has been a bit frosty and her tone of voice has had undertones of hostility towards to me recently since he changed his will. I think she now thinks she owns the house.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How long have you lived together?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

6 years since we got married. We did not live together before we where married.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What financial contribution have you made to the property?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


I haven't made any to the matrimonial home. He has always paid the mortgage and rates. I only pay towards other bills nothing to do with the property

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Where were you living before you moved in?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


I lived in a private rental that I paid for myself. I just got a letter this morning from his Solicitor stating that my husband wants me to move out of the matrimonial home in the next seven days. The letter also said it refered to previous correspondence herein which means the last solicitors letter that was sent. It mentions unhappy differences have arisen in the marriage. I am afraid now that if I don't move out he will get a non-mol against me and I could be arrested as he said his solicitor told him he could do this before. It would be his word against mine and I would have to then fight against it in court. I think he will change the locks once I move out as he said he would do this. I will then have to go up to the house with the police to get my stuff at a time that would suit him and me etc. I think I would rather take all of my stuff and put it in my parents for safe keeping. I could perhaps stay in my parents house until the house I am buying comes through as it would save me the price of a b & b. He will say that I have behaved in an aggressive manner towards him to get the non-mol or that I have threatened him because he said that to his solicitor the last time to get the last letter and it is lies as he was aggressive towards me and threatening towards me. He has just got there first re:Solicitors letter.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You have an absolute right to remain in the property so long as you are married - and your ex can only obtain a order excluding you if he can prove that you are violent
I suggest that you write to his solicitor immediately and remind them of your rights and point out that if he changes the locks you will apply to the court for an order allowing you to return to the house and forcing him to leave
Point out that you have a clear financial claim on the property (somewhere between 15 and 25% possibly)and ask for your husbands financial proposals as a matter of urgency so that you can make arrangements to rehouse yourself
Clare

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