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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 30896
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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my husband and I have been living separately for 3 years but

Customer Question

my husband and I have been living separately for 3 years but we still maintain contact & sexual relations, he stays at my house about twice a week and we go out sometimes. He had been seeing someone else the first year apart and that tore me apart and I was very vulnerable and was very needy. The woman in question moved and he said that he was not seeing her anymore. In August 2013 he filed divorce papers saying he did not want too be married anymore but still wanted too carry on as normal, i told him that i would not and I was hurt and upset and very confused.I did not want this divorce and felt pressured into signing the papers under the agreement of a two year separation. He came too see me a week afterwards stating he missed me and said if we get on ok he would cancel the divorce and assured me that he did not see this other woman anymore but I have just found out that he has been staying there the last two weekends gone, he told me that she had asked him to do some work for her and it was too far too travel back and denied that there was anything going on between them other than just friends. He is very secretive with his mobile phone, there are times when i could have had access to it but didn't out of trust. Last week I received a paper from the courts that I have too answer questions and if i agree on the statement my husband has put down which is; two year separation, no contact and marriage has broken down. Part of me wants too sign it but the other part of me doesn't as this would be a lie.
If I looked at his phone and find out what is really going on and the reason for the divorce. If I do this and find out my fears are right, then he has deceived me, I could not forgive him for that as I have waited patiently for the last 3 years too get our marriage back on track and been very understanding. Could I Take him too court for deceit and adultery, I don't want revenge, I just want what I see as morally right as it would always appear that I wanted the divorce and never tried and did something wrong.
Please can you help me
Amanda
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Just to check that I understand as far as you were concerned whilst you were living apart the marriage was still very much a "real" one and you were acting as husband and wife?
Do you now accept that the marriage is at an end?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare
Yes in some respect I would say we acted like man and wife, we do things for one another but in other ways it's not been the same as we don't live in the same household. He has just visited tonight and has gone off to do another job for this woman and he might stop there the night, I have asked him again if he would reconsider the divorce and he said no as he just does not want to be married and he would want a divorce anyway for us too be able to have a fresh start as he calls it. I have said to him again that I could not do that and we don't have too be divorced for us to do that and I could not agree to seem him in any capacity after the divorce. He wants to come around again on Wednesday of this week to discuss it again but I don't see what good this would do. Yes I do except it's over
Kind regards
Amanda
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Would you feel more comfortable if you were divorcing him?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare
Yes I would as I can't go on like this anymore, I don't agree with the statement on the petition as it would be a lie.
Kind regards
Amanda
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
Given that you have lived separately for two years how would it be a lie?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare
Because it states in the statement we have had no contact and we have all the time
Kind regards
Amanda
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What is the exact wording that he has used?
Clare

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