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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34233
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have been married for 7 years and tried to work our marriage

Resolved Question:

I have been married for 7 years and tried to work our marriage out, through him not being honest with me, after marrying I discovered my husband had many debts which I helped him with including supporting him through his bankruptcy. He promised to prove to me he would make things right, I am still waiting, still never knowing if he is telling me the truth.
I am 56 and this is my first marriage, I have worked hard building a small business, owning my own vehicles and house, my husband came into the marriage with nothing. I have talked with him on many occasions and even said about seeing a marriage guidance counsellor which said he does not want to see, he does not communicate and I find I am left at guessing what he is thinking. He is not interested in the personal side of our relationship and we have not had any form of sex for 5 years, he has even said he is not interested. We still sleep in the same bed but is pointless. I have tried to talk with him about our relationship or lack of it but and said that it is so important to have trust, honesty and openess but he just does not respond, I asked him if he is happy to continue our life as it is he said he is, hence I told him I am not.
Sorry to go on, but this is just part. My question is is there grounds in this relationship for an annullment? He has only for the last 2 years been contributing towards the bills and has been in and out of work having gone through 3 jobs in this period and now just lost his last job, I truly feel I am not his wife but his mother!
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
May I ask why you are asking about annulment and not divorce?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

It was suggested to me because of the religious back ground we are both Catholics, I do not practice but my husband does and his good friend is a priest.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Whilst you may be eligible for a religious annulment you are not eligible for a Civil one and the only way of ending the marriage would be a divorce - or simply agreeing to live apart.
I am not sure if this is something that you wish to explore - if it is then please let me know what further information you wish to have
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thankyou Clare for clarifying that for me.
I think the divorce may be a route I will have to go down. Can you tell me if this is the case is my husband entitled to anything as I own 1 property on my own and 1/2 of another with my sister, all the furniture and the vehicle is mine, I have pensions and life policies. My husband has none.


We live in rented property at present.


Eileen

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What is the value of the assets (less the debts) and what income do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Good afternoon Clare
This is approximate but this would be about £225,000 in property/vehicle I have pensions not sure if this is classed as assets. I have a business which is a limited company of which I was the sole director and share holder until about 12mths ago when I introduced a business partner I have 75% of the shares.


One of the properties is a 50/50 share with my sister.


sorry fo the delayin replying.


Eileen


 

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Where was your husband living before you met?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare


He was living with his parents

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How much did you pay towards the debts?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Good morning Clare


With out looking back it would be approx. £5,000 to £6,000, also lost money I gave him to start his business and improve approx £3,000.


Also I paid his bankrupture fees. All his other debts via cards and loans were calculated in the bankrupt listings.


I was unaware of all his debts prior to getting married, I found out when I added his name on a loan for house extension, this was refused, when I asked why, I was told to speak with my husband, hence I discovered the problem.


Eileen

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How much would a one bedroom property either locally or near his parents cost to buy?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

About £40 - £50k

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

the prices start at £40,000

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Sorry thought I had replied the cost would be from £40,000

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
in the event of a divorce you would be Ordered to pay him a lump sum and there is a risk (but no more than a risk) that it could be as high as £40,000 to allow him to rehouse himself
This is, I think your worst case scenario and I woudl hope that in fact any lump sum awarded would be lower
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hope I am ok continuing.


It really is disappointing that I have to pay him out when he came into our relationship with nothing, actually with debts.


I would have to sell one of my properties of which are rented and both have mortgages/loans on, so allowing me to sort this.


Is there anyway alternative as I have built up the money in the properties to support me in my retirement?


Thanks Eileen

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I do not necessarily think it will be as high as £40,000 - but you may be able to limit it to £15,000 or so - but I am afraid you will indeed have to pay something and there is no way around it
Clare
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