Thank you for your response. I will post my question in the hope you can help.
My partner of 13 months has been accused of asking his daughter to wash his penis in June this year. He denies this and from the way he explains everything and his reaction to this, I believe he is innocent. He has not seen his daughter for 8 months whilst an investigation is conducted. He has been to one court hearing, and because his ex-wife objected to the social services report, another investigation was required and in the meantime my partner can only send a card once a month. The next hearing is in January. His ex is also lying saying he was abusive during their 19 year relationship and even going as low to accuse him of rape. She never once phoned the police or had to go to hospital. Without knowing the background to his wife and her lies, how she has an obsession of sexual abuse towards her daughter, she had suffered with post natal depression after my partners daughter was born meaning he had to look after her while she went to the priory. Something she failed to mention to the social worker. She accused him of having an affair, he had a one night stand, and the reason she and my partner separated was because she was having an affair and once revealed she moved in with him within one week. She told the social worker they split as he was abusive, all lies.
The one thing that is really concerning my partner is social services simply refuse to believe he could be innocent, and during a meeting yesterday she asked him to suggest a place for contact, where there is a third party present. As he is moving back to his mother’s as he can no longer afford to pay the mortgage and the court fees, he suggested her, and his mother was his daughter’s carer for two years whilst her parent went to work. The SW did not agree to this, and so he suggested me, again she said I was not suitable. His three brothers work weekends, so really only leaves his mother, the ex-wife family do not want anything to do with my partner. She reluctantly added his mother as the third partner to her report which will be sent to the judge for him/her to decide. My question is: If the judge deems his mother to be unsuitable what are the alternative arrangements? I would add the Social Services do advise he sees his daughter.
Another concerning piece of information is his daughter has claimed on more than one occasion to his mother, brother and his partner, that his ex-wife new partner scares her, on one occasion when dropping cereal at my partners home, she ran to her bedroom and was found shaking under the duvet, and my partners mother hadn’t even shouted at her and she began shaking again and crying. Two weeks before his daughter’s allegation she told my partner’s brother’s girlfriend that she and his ex-wife’s partner have secrets. One week before the allegation she told my partner’s mother that mummy said she must not say anything. Much to my frustration my partner and his mother did not pursue this enough, apart from my partner mentioning to his ex how her partner scares his daughter, she just denied it.
So my partner is at the end of his tether, no one seems to be listening to him. The Social Worker who interviewed him yesterday seemed extremely biased towards his ex, every suggestion she shot down, when he tried to explain that Kelly was no angel, she was not interested, when he explained that his ex-new partner scared his daughter and they had secrets she accused him of tit for tat. Why will social services not investigate the ex-partner? SS told my partner that his daughter had told different people of her allegation word for word, word for word? How odd, like she was proud of telling people and it was almost rehearsed?? His daughter is 5, 4 when she made her allegation. The day before her allegation she had touched her brothers penis when her mother was changing his nappy, when told not to she said that daddy gets her to wash his, she had touched his penis in the bath and he told her no and it was wrong, so stopped getting in the bath with her, which was stupid of him but totally innocent on his part and something the ex would encourage. One more point, my partner is well aware of his ex-obsession with child abuse towards her daughter, she accused three different men of sexual abuse in her teens and early twenties, all made up. Knowing this why would he then abuses his child knowing the repercussions would be so severe, not once did his daughter say that daddy told her not to say anything, which I am sure a child abuser would do so no one found out.
My partner is sick with worry that the judge will believe his ex lies about him being abusive towards her, and he may decide that his mother is not suitable to supervise access, so what would the worst case scenario be? What kind of contact can he expect? The SW explained that a contact centre is only advisable short term.