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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34583
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My husband left in July and he came today with a form for me

Resolved Question:

My husband left in July and he came today with a form for me to take him off the tenancy on our home we have together and I refused as I am a Christian and its against my beliefs as I am fighting/standing for my marriage as I do not agree to divorce as I have not done anything wrong but I do admit my failures in this marriage, as I was suffering depression for years as we lost two kids and I didn't know how to get out of the pit I was in. I have never given up over years and have got better and better every time and now I am totally better,my husband has left and deserted me a few times and also first time he left he had an affair and only thing I am guilty of is being controlled by depression and thought marriage was in sickness and in health. He left as he said it was my faith and I helped his sister out with something and he was against it and shouted verbal abuse at me for it and left the next day, a week later he came round and said something different that he cannot forgive me for all years I have been poorly and how I have been, he just cant seem to make his mind up why he left he doesn't really know himself. He will not communicate at all and has hardened his heart against me for no reason, I think he is suffering from depression himself as he never had time to grieve over children we lost with looking after me and kids and also I think its a mid life crisis and he is angry and hurt and I think he is doing all this in the moment of anger and he is an angry person lately and its not him and he is blaming me for everything. I wanted to know if I can hold off signing the house over as it is me who pays the rent anyway and doesn't make a difference whether he is on or off it so he is not gaining anything and I am up to date with payments, and he still has a key for house which he wont give back till I sign, I said to him give me the key and I will consider signing he refused and tore the application up in anger. I also wanted to know that as I refuse divorce as I don't want it and don't agree can I hold it off as it is against my beliefs. Thank you
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Who are the landlords?
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

thank you, XXXXX XXXXX is WDH housing organisation

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Has he said that he intends to start divorce proceedings?
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No he hasn't even mentioned divorce at all and have not heard anything, I have been waiting but nothing as yet.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
HI
At this stage the only person who would benefot from changing the tenancy is you - since it would mean that he could not come to the house unless you wished him to.
From that point of view refusing to sign the form is not a problem - but neither would it coause any harm if you did tranfer the tenancy
If he does decide to issue divorce proceedings based on your Ureasonable Behaviour you will be entitled to defend them - but at this stage it seems he is not likely to do so.
I hope that this i sof assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your advice, I thought that I would seek legal advice as he said last night he was going to see a solicitor about taking him off tenancy and wanted to know where I stood in regards XXXXX XXXXX taking him off, the reason I am not is that last time I took him off at his own request he blamed me for it all and then begged and pleaded for me to put him back on again so I did reluctantly as WDH said that I could not put him back on a second time if he continued to leave the premises, I just wanted to keep everything the same, as him being on it still keeps everything normal for if and when he returns as he has come back on numerous occasions which he stated each time that he wasn't coming back at all.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Are you sure you do not want to agree to it so that you are safe?
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am just thinking about it at the moment to see what is the best option, please can you tell me why its classed as unreasonable behaviour on my part as I have lost two kids and been grieving and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have a missed heart beat and have been on medication so its not that I treated him badly or had an affair or been abusive, I never planned my life to be this way if anything he's been verbally abusive to me by swearing and blaming and been controlling knowing I was ill and made me feel worse but I take full responsibility for my part. Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Frankly it does not sound to me as though you have done anything wrong at all
However since none of us are perfect it is not difficult to draft a Petition based on our annoying habits which is sufficient for a divorce
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

So that means he can go ahead for a divorce? sorry I just need clarification and have trouble reading things right and this is last question I promise ha ha.Thank you I appreciate your time and sorry if I am being annoying.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
You are in no way annoying - this is a difficult area and you are concerned which is understandable.
If he does issue proceedings it is possible they will be successful - but since they will cost money he may well not bother
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you I see your point and yes he may not pursue a divorce as he is money minded and tight and wouldn't want to be out of pocket and may be hoping I would so it would cost me instead, just doing research on him and what I have found out is he is in mid life crisis mode, which he fits perfectly with his anger issues, not knowing what he wants coming and going etc, least I have something to work against now and help sort. Thank you so much for your advice and for being patient with me, your advice is very much appreciated and you have helped me so much.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi Lisa
You are most welcome - I hope that you find a way through this
Clare
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