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Max Lowry
Max Lowry, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1457
Experience:  LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
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My daughter is having problems with her husband. He has moved

Customer Question

My daughter is having problems with her husband. He has moved out of the house as he has had an affair. She is in the process of divorcing him. The problem is that he will not agree to her requests to visit the kids on set times. He turns up at the house at any hour and just walks in as he says he is paying the mortgage so he has a right to use the home as he sees fit. He agrees to visit the children at certain times but regularly turns up late and will not leave at the agreed time. They are constantly arguing and screaming at each other in front of the kids. He refuses to accept he has done any wrong and keeps blaming her for the break up. She suffers from bi polar and he keeps calling her mental. How can she stop his controlling visits and ask him to stick to an agreed schedule of visits. She lives in fear of violence which came very close yesterday. She called me in panic to go round to their house as he had threatened her and she was scared. He says she can do nothing as he has not laid a finger on her.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Max Lowry replied 3 years ago.

Max Lowry :

Hi, welcome to the site. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will help you with your question.

Max Lowry :

If they both jointly own the house, the starting point is that they are both entitled to use it. However, she could apply to the Court for urgent help, and it could grant what is called an occupation order, which could have to consquence of forcing him to stay out of the property.

Customer:

How long does this take

Customer:

How long does that process take. Also what can be done about his timekeeping with the children

Expert:  Max Lowry replied 3 years ago.

Hello.

 

This would take days. It is an emergency type of application, and the only delay is the delay it would take her solicitor to make the application and prepare the necessaty application and witness statement in support. I have known these things obtained the same day or next day.

 

Max

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Does she have to provide evidence and if so what kind of evidence, obviously he will not admit to the harrasment

Expert:  Max Lowry replied 3 years ago.

There is a useful guide here: http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/relationship_breakdown/occupation_orders#getting_an_occupation_order

 

There is never an admission of the need for an order in this type of case. The Court simply needs to understand why the order is sought, that its inappropriate for him to remain in the property in the short-term, and that the reasons for that are whatever they are, such as the danger of violence.

 

Max

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Is there anything she can do about his insistence that he can keep the kids for as long as he wants despite her asking him to return them at a reasonable time

Expert:  Max Lowry replied 3 years ago.

Sorry I thought I just answered this.

 

Agreement should try and be reached first about the children and who sees them and when. If agreement cannot be reached, then you should try and use a local family mediation service. You could try: http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/find-service.php

 

If mediation fails, then the Court will entertain an application for contact rights etc. However, it will expect an attempt at mediation to be tried first.

 

Max

 

Max Lowry, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1457
Experience: LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
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Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi I am afraid that until there IS an incidence of violence then it is highly unlikely that the court will grant an Occupation Order.In the circumstances that you describe this is not likely to result in the Order that she is seeking unless she has tried all other options first.The starting point is to move the contact away from the property and agree a handover away from the property as well.Your daughter should request an urgent mediation session - if that fails then she will need to apply for a Defined Contact Order that sets out the time he sees the childrenShe can read more herehttp://theparentconnection.org.uk/If she has not already done so she should start divorce proceedings - the process is described herehttps://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorceand start discussing with her ex the financial side of the divorce - which will involve her being able to live in the house WITHOUT him.It is entirely possible that her positive steps will indeed make her ex more volatile and THAT will strengthen her case to get a Non Molestation and Exclusion Order As a gentle warning - she should ensure that she has a letter from her consultant confirming that she is well enough to care for the children - that will be his next threatClare