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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33281
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have been married for 51 years. My husband insisted that

Customer Question

I have been married for 51 years. My husband insisted that I gave up work when we married and I have been a fulltime housewife and mother to 5 children. He had a very good position as a company secretary with a large firm of commodity brokers and frequently travelled between their offices in London, New York and Switzerland. I have never known what his salary was as he always told me it was none of my business. We own a large house in Chislehurst, all the children went to private schools and we have all been on luxury holidays all round the world. Now he has become impossible to live with. He is a very heavy smoker ( 100 a day).I have been in hospital with lung problems caused by passive smoking. He also refuses to wash, shave and change his clothes for several days and wears his outdoor coat and hat all the time .He sleeps on the sofa every night in all these clothes plus a dressing gown and has done for several years. His Doctor refuses to discuss his problem with me. The family agree that he has a problem but John insists it is our imagination and he does not have a problem. I would like some space and would like to move out for a few months. I have no money of my own and would like to know if I could rent a small flat and would he have to give me an allowance to cover my rent and living costs. I am allowed to keep half of my pension £100 per month. Please advise Thank you Sylvia XXXXXXXXX  [email protected]

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the property worth - and what pension do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

a neighbours house recently sold for £1.2500. I only keep half of my government pension £100 per month. The rest £145 goes towards household heating. I do not have access to any other money. I do not know what pension my husband has as he says it is not my concern. He refuses to sell the house.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

 


please note divorce is not an option as we are Catholics. I just need some space on my own for a few months.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I ask what would happen if you refused to give him part of your pension?
Is the house owned in joint names?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

yes the house is in joint names.


Re giving over part of my pension. He thinks I should now contribute to heating and food bills. I must add that he has never taken money from any of the family before they left home, although they all had very good jobs.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Do you wish to force the sale of the house at this stage?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No. I do not intend to leave the family home. I just need some time on my own for a while, but without an income I can't keep myself. All I want to know is if I can expect my husband to pay rent on a small flat and give me a small allowance to live on for a couple of months. I will then return home. I hope that if I do this, he will improve his personal hygiene habits and become more like the man we all loved, or realize that he needs to seek advice from his doctor. Neighbours have noticed the change in him and have commented on his appearance. He drives to the local shops every day for his paper and looks and smells like an old tramp. I really feel so embarrassed I now avoid going into the local shops. If there is no solution to this I could go to stay with one of my sons and his family for a couple of weeks, but I really don't want to do this. Much as I love them I don't want to impose on them.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
He cannot force you to give him any of your pension - but equally I am afraid that without Divorce Proceedings you will not be able to force him to give you an allowance as you wish.
If you beleive that your moving away will indeed help then it would be best to stay with your son whilst you are trying to decide what your future will be
If you do decide to go the route of a Judicial separation you will be entitled to 50% of all the assets - including his pension - you are fully entitled to this
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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