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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33304
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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hi there i have two children from two different mothers

Customer Question

hi there

i have two children from two different mothers both of which i have separated from. Six months ago (although i have not seen him now for 12 months) i had my first child taken off me through court, which was due to the unstable and volatile relationship with my second childs mum. I had previously suffered from the death of my daughter in 2009 which had a huge impact on my mental health. Although i had never been diagnosed with mental health i was refereed to a psychiatrist due to attempted suicide on two occasions. (one is 2011 and one February last year). These two attempts were not attempts to kill myself but for a cry for help.
(please note i have never previously been in a volatile relationship before but the combination of my grief, mental health and aggression from my ex partner we were a very bad combination)

I have been having contact with my second child but my ex partner has been denying me access on occasions but recently stopped me seeing her completely and has put a non contact order against me from the police, which has made it impossible to see my second child also. She had previously threatened she would do what she can to remove me from my daughters life and has made allegations which resulted in the non contact order.

Since my first child has been taken from in court i have been doing all i can to provide a stable and safe environment for my children. I have been signed off from the psychiatrist stating i have no mental health issues, completed councilling for the death of my daughter in 2009, i am currently receiving councilling from the mental abuse from my second partner and awaiting cbt from the NHS which is due to start in 10 weeks time.

Any advice to regain contact with my first child and gain proper access to my second child would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time Mark
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what was the actual outcome of the Care Proceedings- where is the child now/
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

my first child is 7 and my second child is 20 months.


Both children are with there mothers. There were 3 hearings to my first childs case. First hearing outcome was a contact order given every other weekend, every other christmas and birthday and half of the school holidays. 2 weeks after this i received another letter stating i was going back to court as allegations were made between both ex partners, as i had split from my second child's mum also and my mental health was brought into it due to my first childs mum finding out i had taken an overdose from my ex partner.


if you need any more information i will stay on line. Thank you

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

my first child is 7 and my second child is 20 months.


Both children are with there mothers. There were 3 hearings to my first childs case. First hearing outcome was a contact order given every other weekend, every other christmas and birthday and half of the school holidays. 2 weeks after this i received another letter stating i was going back to court as allegations were made between both ex partners, as i had split from my second child's mum also and my mental health was brought into it due to my first childs mum finding out i had taken an overdose from my ex partner.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What did the last order actually say?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

all it said was no contact.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

the order just said no contact

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How long is the CBT likely to take?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Well the waiting time is 12 weeks. Then it will probably be 9 weeks of cbt. What will be the outcome be if I applied for a contact order for my daughter. And when will the best time be to apply for my son. Will everything iv done be enough to get my son back and anything else I need to do.


 


Thankyou

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What specific allegations have been made against you
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The main allergations were im Mentally ill and unstable to be a parent, due to my relationship with my ex partner of my second child and the over doses. During the hearings both ex partners met up and made violent accusations up about me.stating I was voilent towards them both. This came about during the seperation of my ex.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Apart from the CBT are you accessing any other Medical assistance with the Mental Health issues?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No not anymore. I was discharged from the mental health team last week which is why now im starting the ball moving to see my children I am currently under councillors on my own initiative. to help me talk things through with the emotional abuse I appear to of had ftom( danille) second mother. .

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Will the mental health team give a report confirming that you have recovered?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes they said there writting to my doctor confirming i do not have any mental health issues. Which I can get a copy of off the doctor when needed.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
In that case there is no reason why you could not now apply to the courts for contact orders with respect to each of the children
The form you need is here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0006/9047/C100.pdf
the fee is £215 per application.
You should ask for contact at a Contact Centre to start with so that they cannot argue that the children would be at risk.
You will need to get the report FIRST since your mental health was the major issue previously
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Would the concerns from my previous court hearings have an impact on taking my second childs mother to court for proper access and which would you advice to do first. Go to court for my 1st or 2nd child.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes this is why you will need the report.
There is no reason not to do both at the same time if you feel you can cope
Clare

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