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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34131
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Me and my partner have separated

Customer Question

Me and my partner have separated, we weren't married. We both have joint PR of our only son who is 14 months old. Today she arrived at my mums house (My mum has provided childcare for the last 8 months) and attempted to take my son to where her parents have recently moved to (3 hours drive from our family home). They called the police to try and make it happen but because I returned home before the police arrived the police left him in my care. I'm now in a situation where I can not leave my son with my parents (or his regular nursery) because she could arrive to take him. Is there are way to prevent my partner taking my son while he is in childcare and I'm not present?

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What are the current arrangements for sharing the child's care that you thought you had reached?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My ex partner works shift work that varies from week to week. I have pretty much set office hours. Some times she will work 6am leaving at 5 till 2.30pm getting back at 3.15pm ish. Sometimes it will be 4pm till gone 1am getting home at 2am. To be honest the start time can vary anywhere between 6am and 4pm lasting for 8 hours on average. This will mean that when she is starting in the morning I drop him off at my mums she picks him up. If she is working pm, she drops him off at my mums and I picking him up. We agreed this basically wouldn't change as it would well for everyone. The only difference being if she was working an am shift and off the next day he would stay the night with her.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
So what was the issue on this occasion - do you have any idea what triggered it/
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

We literally decided this last week and she left on Friday to stay with her parents. She text me to say she would be back on wed/thur and she wanted to go through mediation. She turned up today and told both me and my mum she was back, that her parents had gone home they hadn't. Unfortunately she easily led and her mother (who she has seen once in a year) can manipulate her very easily. My ex has recently been receiving counseling to deal with her childhood issues, she self harms and damaged property in our house on Friday during an argument. Since our son was born she has left him in my sole care because see hasn't been able to cope emotionally on 2 other occasions for 4/5 days at a time. So in short it could be a number of things or just one (her mother)

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I can understand your concern.
You have clearly identified the problem - only someone who also had Parental Responsibility (you) can prevent the mother removing the child from their care UNLESS there is a Residence Order in place
If you wish to protect your position then your only option is to obtain a Residence - or Shared Residence Order - stating what time the child will spend with each of you.
With that in place you can safely leave the child with someone else during "your" time.
You should try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) - but if you consider the matter urgent you could make an immediate application to the court - you need a form C100 available here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0006/9047/C100.pdf
The fee is £215.
More information here
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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