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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 69511
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I split up with my girlfriend of two and a half years. I love

Customer Question

I split up with my girlfriend of two and a half years. I love her very much. I went to her house a few weeks later to speak to her and she wouldn't let me in. She said if I didn't go away she will ring the Police.
I spoke to her a few days later on the telephone.
She then agreed to see me on Christmas Eve and we had a meal together and gave each other presents. I spoke to her on Christmas Day and she was really chatty. I spoke to her on Boxing day and got upset. I said I love her and want to be with her, but I didn't go and see her. I rang her at work on the third of January this year and she rang me back when she got home. She told me we had some good fun, but now it is over.
I wrote to her explaining we could buy a house together and about a week later with slightly different content, an email. No reply to either.
I did ring her some days later and left a message stating I just wanted to see her for an hour just to talk to her. Towards the end of January I sent her £200 to tide her over until she got paid, and she thanked me for the money. It was a gift.
She sent me a text saying, Stop pestering me and go away!
About a week later I went to see her daughter to see if she could help.
I then got a scathing email from my ex saying, amongst other things, Stop pestering me and my family or I will seek legal advice.
What I cannot understand is how quickly it has deteriated. She seems have changed dramically as if she has gone into some kind of safety mode!
Her first husband was extremely violent and a heavy drinker, but I am nothing like him. Could it be I have triggered something to cause this odd behaviour?
I have backed right off and done nothing for over a week and won't do anything in the near future.
I would like to write to her in about a months time to say I am sorry it has ended like this. That it is all my fault and to buy her a tumble dryer that she does need. It will be a pure gift.
I feel deep down that we can still make a life together and I will probably include that in the letter, but will expect nothing back and after sending this letter I will definately call it a day!
What I don't want to do is be guilty of hassasment or something like that. There has been no malice or aggression in my attempts to contact her and never will be.
I thought if I left it for a while and made one last contact in the form of that letter I would be okay.
Could you advise me on this please. Paul
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Hi.

Thank you for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try to help with this.

What would you like to know about this?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

What I don't want to do is be guilty of harrasment or something like that. There has been no malice or aggression in my attempts to contact her and never will be.
I thought if I left it for a while and made one last contact in the form of that letter I would be okay.
Could you advise me on this please. Paul

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Yes, are you asking if you are guilty?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Well not exactly. I am asking if I send the last letter as I have described will that add fuel to what I have done already.


 


Because she has already said she will seek legal advice, I don't want to make it any worse.


 


I suppose I am asking you if I can send the last letter and be alright, bearing in mind I will not be sending it for another month. Paul

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Thanks.

Yes, it will be inflammatory. I realise its not what you want to hear but given the situation that you describe writing to her again would be a disastrous idea that would almost certainly seal your fate.

It would strength her resolve to report this to the police and her case if she did so.

The email she sent could not be clearer. It could have been more polite but it could not be clearer. She wants you to leave her alone. Not doing so is harassment.

The problem with this is that if she does seek legal advice she will quickly work out that she can just report this to the police who do have the power to act against you on what has happened so far. Writing to her after she has sent an email of this kind would probably mean they would be looking to charge you rather than give you a harassment warning.

I'm sorry this is hard hitting but you need to understand your position which is that she doesn't want to be contacted and further attempts to do so are harassment and unlawful.

I'm sorry this isn't the answer you wanted but it is the position that you face and I have a duty to inform you truthfully.

Hope this helps. Please let me know if you need more information.

Jo
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 69511
Experience: Over 5 years in practice
Jo C. and 2 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for the positive rating and remember that I am always available to help with your questions. For future information, please start your question with ‘FOR JO C’. You can also bookmark my profile http://www.justanswer.co.uk/law/expert-remus2004/

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