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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34236
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My wife intends to accuse me of forcing her up against a fridge

Resolved Question:

My wife intends to accuse me of forcing her up against a fridge with such force that she feared she would be subject to violence, as part of her reasons for divorce. My son was present throughout and confirms no incident took place. What should I do.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Do any of the other allegations involve violence?
Do you wish there to be a divorce?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

not really, I did try to retrieve a car key from the ignition of a car registered in my name, and she resisted and we both sustained cuts to our hands from the key ring, which she considers I was not justified in doing so. But had she written the car off she no doubt would have left me to sort out the excess on insurance etc., so I feel I was justified in trying to stop her driving it.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Sorry I only partially answered your question. On the question of divorce I have just retired and worried more about the financial implications, and the prospects of losing out on my pensions. One earned before marriage and one earned over a period of seven years some twenty years ago. She had the opportunity of having a company pension but declined, which over a twenty year period would have been worth than mine. She is 52 and engaged to marry, having left the day after I found out she had been meeting him.We had debts which I have cleared out of my pensions.So I would rather wait the five years before a divorce.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I have to ask - how much are you willing to spend to prevent the divorce?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

With only limited funds available, to see me through the rest of my life I cannot afford anything really.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Why do you think that waiting five years would be better for you financially?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I would not be better off, but at least I have some money at present not to have to worry if I go a little over budget, or to cope with anything unexpected. So at least I would have a few years without worry, which I have endured for a number of years, and need a break from. May I also ask would my wife be allowed to persue a claim if it is likely to cost more than that which may be awarded to her.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Has the Petition actually been issued or have the solicitors just sent you a draft of what will be said?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

just a draft petition which was planned to be sent after 7 days.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
The simple and straightforward fact is that there is going to be a divorce now and not in five years time.
If you do not reach an agreement with her on the grounds she will issue anyway and then you will be faced with the substantial costs of defending a divorce
Accordingly your current options are
1. Write to her solicitors and say you will agree to divorce her for adultery if she agrees to pay the costs
2. Write and say what allegations you will agree to - provided they do not claim costs
3. Defend any Petition that is issued - the cost of filing the answer is £200 and you are then locked into a process of hearings
I am sorry that the choices are so bleak.
If you want information on the financial issues then please ask
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Would it be simpler to agree that the marriage has broken down, (separation is in acess of two years) and that she should pay costs.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Have you actually lived apart for two years?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes, she moved in with her now fiancee, the day after she left on November 26th 2011.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
Then yes - write and say that you will agree to a divorce on that ground
Clare
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