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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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the father of my son hardly sees our son,doesnt have him in

Customer Question

the father of my son hardly sees our son,doesnt have him in school holidays,our son has aspergers his dad hasnt been to any ot appointments.last year he didnt see our son for a year.now only sees him about once a month.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is your son and what do wish to know about the situation?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

my son is nine.i would like his dad to see him more and maybe have him in school holiday for a few days.ive spoke to his dad about it nicely for last three years,given him dates of school holidays,also told told him when our sons ot appointments are.his dad still doesnt bother.so was wondering if i could apply for full custorty of our son.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What contact does he actually have with the child and what changes do you think "full custody" would mean?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

ive never stoped him from seeing his son.since xmas just gone he got in contact after a year of noone hereing from him for a year.we have no set arrangement he just says ill come in about 3weeks,and thats how its gone since xmas..it has effected our son as he says why doesnt dad not bother with me.and want to see me more.it does worry me that he might suddenly stop seeing our son again for very long periods.i do know you cant forse a father to see and make time for his son if he really doesnt want to.maybe me haveing full custody might help his dad to see he cant just be a wishy washy father,because it does effect a child emotionally.and he cant just make the effort to see his son when he just feels like it.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Do you mean that you wish to ensure that his father either commits to a regular pattern of contact or has no contact at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
There is no longer any concept of Custody - sole or joint - there is Residence and Contact.
You would only need a Residence order if your ex was likely to try and remove the child from your permanent care
However you are correct - your child needs there to be a regular pattern of contact - and if his father is not willing to commit to that then there is no basis on which he can have any contact at all.
You should offer to try and discuss matters with him using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
If he refuses then you should write and offer him the pattern of contact you think would be best for your son and say that if he is not willing to commit to that pattern- or suggest his own pattern - then there will be no contact and invite him to apply to the court of he wishes to do so
The Court will also insist on a set pattern of contact
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare and 2 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

thank you so much for replying and your exellent advice.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
You are most welcome- I hope all goes well
Clare