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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34264
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My ex daughter inlaw is making it extremely difficult for our

Customer Question

My ex daughter inlaw is making it extremely difficult for our son and ourselves to maintain contact with our Grandchildren, one of whom is a step grandchild although he was only 18 months old when he came into our lives and is now nearly 15 we love him dearly as we do the other two, Katie who is 9 and Oliver is 6.

Their mum has introduced three new men into the family home over the last two years which has been upsetting for the children particularly the latest one as they do not like him and he has been accused by the children of man handling them to discipline them.

Because of this their is now a social worker on the case, But their jurisdiction does not cover the upset of our lack of contact with children.

All the advice I have read in a marriage break up is keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of the children, it has been any thing but that since the break up , it seems she would like to wash us out of their lives altogether.

We are desperate for some advice, I have tried writing to her but the letters were torn up and returned to me.

Which is really hurtful as we did all the baby sitting when they were together because her parents did not do baby sitting and do not have much contact with the children at all.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact does your son have with them and has he applied for a contact order?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi my son works a rolling four on four off shift pattern days and nights he likes to see them at least twice a week work permiting one day after school and one day at the weekend, his current living arrangements are not suitable for sleepovers.


 


He is not in a position financially to fight this in court due to debts he has been left with after the break up.


 


Also he feels the needs of the children would not be best served through the courts.


 


They have been through enough already .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What further contact would he actually like to have?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He just needs to see them when he can baring in mind his work situation and the fact they are at school.


 


He usually texts her his shift rota, and asks her to let him know when he can have them, but currently she is not communicating with him at all.


 


Which makes it extremely difficult for him to make any arrangements.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
When did he last see the children and what action are Social Services taking about the abuse?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He had them for a for over a week from the 19th March after mums New boyfriend said they would be better of with their dad and packed their bags.


 


Which is when Social Services became involved and having spoken to the children and their mum arranged for them to go home.


 


I dropped them to school on Monday 24th March which is when my son last saw them.


 


I saw them yesterday playing out where they live and spoke to them with my son who was working talking to them on the phone, they just want to see their dad on a regular basis.


 


It is so upsetting, But mum seems to be in total control of events regardless of the effect on the children.


 


The eldest grand child is not my son's,but was only 18 months old when they met and is ad much my grandson in my heart as the other two.


 


Has sent me a message saying he does not want to see me because of the situation which really upset me.


 


Not sure whether that's from him or mum .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Has the mother now parted from this man?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Unfortunately not mum is now working and child care seems to be the new partner or an ex, my son had a voicemail message from local police telling him that she has blocked her mobile and email address as she wants no contact with my son all requests to see the children have to be through the ex partner . Where does my son stand regards XXXXX XXXXX seems crazy to me.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What are Social services saying about the safety of the children now?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

they say no cause for concern but they are monitoring the situation .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
The law says that children are entitled to regular contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary
Since it is unlikely that his ex will be willing to discuss matters with your son using Family mediation (www.familymediationhlpline.co.uk) I am afraid that a Court application is the only option
Your son is entitle to make the application in person which means that the only cost will be the court fee of £215
He can then establish a regular pattern of contact which will be enforceable - including holiday contact and contact that you can share in
He can read more about applications here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2078/CB1_1108.pdf
and the forms he needs are here
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/CourtForms/C100.pdf
http://www.childrenneedfamilies.co.uk/court-forms/c2_01_05.pdf
He needs the second form as he needs the permission of the court to apply in respect of the oldest child
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you you for the information it is unfortunate to have to resort to the law in a family matter but as you say the likely hood of my ex daughter in law communicate with my son is not good. So she leaves him no choice .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
i agree it is a shame - but for the children's sake your son needs to act!
Clare