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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34234
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I believe my wife with to whom I am separated is starting to

Customer Question

I believe my wife with to whom I am separated is starting to see a man who has admitted to me that he has severe depression, he's also addicted to prescription pain killers. Also he and my wife have had a relationship in the past and she had an extra martial affair with him which I'm both occasions caused my wife to self harm.

Can I arrange a restraining order against him on behalf of my two boys?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what risk do you believe he poses to them?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My children are 3 years and 18 months.


 


It's more f the destabilising influence they have on their mother.


 


ive seen he jab her self with a screw driver while on the phone to him when he at the time was rejecting her. He's very manipulative and controlling. Of a restraining order is out of the question is there any other action I could take to protect the children.


 


she moved them away to Cornwall, I currently love in Hampshire in our family home. She has moved in with her mother.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He has*

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I am afraid that unless he has a record that makes his a risk to children there is no action that you can take to prevent this relationship
If you are on good terms with her mother then you could share your concerns - but if not then I am afraid that all you can do is concentrate on your contact with the children and maximise that so far as possible
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I was considering taking my children back home what would the implications be?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How was the care of the children shared prior to her moving away?
How long ago was the move?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My wife moved a week ago and until then I did most of the child care as my wife worked more hours than me


 


For example I looked after them Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and friday during the day I worked monday fri evening and sat 10 - 3

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Did you discuss the move at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

We did, it just seemed easier because I have to sort the house out not to have the kids there. I think there is always that idea that woman are better careers but since I have though about it more ie realised that may be better of in their family home

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What contact have you agreed?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

ATM the plan is that I will be moving down to the area but I will be renting a room..we haven't actually agreed on a plan just yet

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
So you will be moving down there - when is that likely to be?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Within 4 weeks of now

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
Is that still your plan?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Not sure I'm just keeping my options open. I am standing in the local election, its unlikely I will one but if I did that then I would be tempted to stay. He only reason my wife has moved to Cornwall is to be near this guy and her family.


 


I believe my wife is at a point whether she decides to go for a relationship with this guy or not. It's really has very little to so with the fact that I feel betrayed I honestly don't want someone with so many issues suddenly around my two boys. Especially after the turmoil and upheaval they have gone through recently.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I understand your feelings but the fact is that you agreed to the move and indeed made plans around it.
If you simply bring the children back now then your ex can apply immediately for an emergency order that the children are returned to her care while the long term arrangements are decided by the court
If you wish to consider changing the arrangements you should discuss this with your ex using family mediation - and if that fails then you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order
More details here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2078/CB1_1108.pdf
Clare